String of Fates💫

STORY 2

I ran as fast as my legs could carry me without turning around and then hopped into a thin alley around the corner of the street and duck down onto the ground. 

My breathing was heavy and accelerated so I started taking long and deep breaths to calm it down.

"W-What do I do now?!" Is all I kept asking myself again and again.

The more I try to get rid of this letter, the more It keeps coming back to me! At this point I wish I had the courage to shred it into million pieces! B-but I can't.... I know I Can't!

After god knows how long of hiding in that thin alley and crying my heart out, I finally felt a little better so I got up and dusted my school uniform.  Picking up my bag pack and carefully putting the letter in it, I walked back to my house.
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I am Anna john. 16 years old, a high school girl.
I live with my mom who is a single working mother because my dad left her before my birth saying that he was not ready for taking responsibility of a child yet. So, my mom raised me alone.

I remember when I was just a little kid, I used to cry for my mom when she was away working, so when she comes back home she always had a gentle smile on her face and then she would feed me, bath me, play with me, and at night she used to tuck me to sleep, telling bedtime stories. And after all that she used to do household chores.

I can't even imagine how hard it would have been for her at that time. She worked her ass off for years and she is still working for me.

I am so grateful for everything she has done for me and loved me so much. But I am also worried about her.

Six months back, she suddenly fall unconscious on the floor while working late night. Since then her health started deteriorating.

My mom wouldn't tell me the reason no matter how many times I ask her or force her. She would just smile and say, "oh honey I'm fine."

But now I know it, few days back I saw her hospital reports and their it was written, diagnosed with meningeal tuberculosis!

I just don't understand why she won't tell me herelf!!I am her only damn daughter. I have the right to know it! How can she do this to her and to me?
Just thinking about it tears my heart apart and drives me crazy!
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I lie down onto the bed, quietly stare at the ceiling but deep inside, my mind is in commotion! All types of thoughts flashes and I fight every instinct in my body to not run down and barge into her room with millions of questions! To not be angry at her! To not break and cry in front of her! 

All the questions leads me to only one asnwer. ME!
I am the reason she is suffering! I am the reason she is sick and in this condition! She won't tell me because she know that I will be sad and that she is the only working person in the house!
Everything is because of me!!

And I on the other hand, am selfish as hell. I didn't notice it before! I was so blind getting to my dreams that I ignore the fact that she is killing her own for my sake!

With slow steps I walk to my bag and unfold the letter. Its a scholarship letter to my dream college. I wanted to study hard and get admission on my own and then  I wanted to give my mom the best life. The life she deserves and threw away for me!