Resident Evil S.T.A.R.S Case Files #1. The Mansion Incident

Dreams

I was plagued with nightmares after my escape. I was depressed, turned to heavy drinking, and almost destroyed my relationship with my friends, family, and Claire who is now my wife.

My dreams went from being eaten alive, to even dying with some of my compatriots, and watching them die and not being able to help. I had a dream where I sat there with Joseph and the dogs attacked him again. But they acted as if I wasn't even there. Like I was a figment of some delusional man's imagination. But that wasn't the scariest part.

Joseph turned his eyes towards me.
"It's your fault, you did this to me. I could've lived but you sat there and did nothing you fucking crock of shit. I HATE YOU. We all do. You'll be rotting in hell with these fucking monsters and I'll be the one who watches you suffer you motherfucker!"

I woke up crying and yelling "No." Claire had to shake me to snap me out of it but by then I was so terrified I couldn't talk or think or sleep or do anything but stare at the wall and beg to God that it wasn't real and that I was just dreaming again.

In our dreams or maybe nightmares, the spirits of the past live on. The people I looked up to and saw as friends who died that night live on in our dreams. Maybe one night you'll be dreaming and suddenly Kevin would appear. Sometimes we'd grab a bite to eat and catch up, other times he'd curse at me and tell me how much of a fuck up I am.

In reality, they're dead. Nothing I can do to bring them back. But they live on. They look down on their families and friends just to be able to know they're safe. Maybe one day they'd all see each other again and they could walk in fields of gold together as the wind blew on the beautiful day. The ghost survivors is what I like to call them.

I get dreams where I saved the ones who died and they go on back home and hug their families and kiss their lovers. The pure happiness on their face of being able to see everyone they cared about. Then I wake up, and I realize that what happened in reality was that they were killed by those fucking things. I always tend to think of what if scenarios where I grabbed Joseph before the dogs could get him or how I saved Kevin from the helicopter. Ever since the incident I've had those dreams.

I pray every night that they'd go away, and they've faded. But they're still there. All I can do is hope that I get one of the good dreams that night. As I lay next to Claire as she falls asleep and I hear our baby daughter and son fall asleep in their rooms I fight back tears. Tears that come from the fear of the unknown. Maybe one day, I'll get closure. But for now, these stories are what keep me sane.