Did I F@$%ing Stutter? - Ranting

The Source of All Evil (SPOILER ALERT)

It is pudding.

What? Don't believe me? Well, listen to this.

1. So, this actually took place a month or so ago. Seems pretty insignificant now considering my stress over it is mostly gone, but not the point.

My friends got in a fight. For no REAL reason in particular. Let's call them Friends A, B, and C. Just cuz I'm lazy and don't want to disclose names. Get over it. :P

Friend A decided she didn't like the pudding in the school cafeteria.

Okay. I can basically agree with that. School food is poisoned. I swear, it smells like rot, socks, poison, and something that came out of the dumpster a year ago. Ew. Just...ew. I refuse to eat anything from the cafeteria that isn't packaged/pre-made. Like pizza. Or salad. Not even the cartoned milk is any good. The chocolate kind tastes like sharpies. How do I know that?

Rule #1 of olfactory senses, if you've smelled it, you've tasted it too.

Think of THAT next time the dog farts.

Now anyway, she could have just left it at that. But no. She goes and starts making a mountain out of a frickin' molehill and starts making puking sounds to dramatize her disgust for this pudding.

It's lemon pudding. She hates lemons.

So.

Freaking.

What.

Following immediately after, Friend B decides she is SO ABSOLUTELY INFURIATED AS HELL at the dramatization, she starts yelling her face off at Friend A. Telling her to shut the hell up and get over herself and all that. This begins the "YOU'RE NOT MY FRIEND ANYMORE!!!" clause. She has an extremely short fuse anyway. And it's shorter than mine, and THAT, my readers, is saying something. Nonetheless...

Completely out of control.

UN...FREAKING....NECESSARY!

Friend B goes to the library and Friend A stays in the cafeteria to complain about B to everyone else. Friend C doesn't care. I wouldn't either. I didn't.

At the end of the day, I decide not to take the bus and walk to my sistet-in-law's house to see my baby nephew (cuz I love his adorable, cute face X3) and help my mom babysit. Okay, no big deal. Just a normal run-of-the-week Friday.

Friday: "Guess again, b**ch! :D"

Not 20 minutes after I get to the house and sit down, I get a text message from Friend B.

"I @#$%ed up."

Me: *sigh* "What did you do this time?" I'm used to B getting herself in trouble.

She tells me she punched Friend C in the face. ......WHUUUT???? WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?

They got into the same argument on the bus over the pudding issue at lunch. Are you freaking SERIOUS?! This was four HOURS ago! Why are you still whining over this sh*t?! YOU FREAKING PATHETIC PRESCHOOLERS!! Friend B even hit C over the head with a book before punching her in the face for supposedly trying to stop the argument. What the actual @#$%????

Well, apparently I should have taken the bus so I could have kept B under control. B got suspended, C got a black eye, and A decided B was a b**ch and vice versa. I'm caught in the middle trying to mediate the situation later.

Didn't work out. They hate each other.

"YOU CAN'T SWAY ME ON THIS ONE," says Friend B to me. "I HATE HER, SHE'S NOT MY FRIEND ANYMORE, SHE BETTER GIVE MY BOOK BACK CUZ I DON'T WANT NON-FRIENDS TO HAVE MY STUFF-" yadda yadda yadda. Insert stress level of 200 here.