I'll Never Let You Win

4

I sat alone on the swings in the park at night, thinking about everything and nothing. I wondered if anything was going to happen in my life, or if I'd be stuck like this - alone, unwanted and vulnerable for the rest of my days. I wondered if I'd ever have someone I could call a friend. I wondered if I could ever do something huge or save someone's life. I wondered about a lot of things.

The next day at school, one of my thoughts became more of a reality than I'd ever thought it would. I sat in my usual seat in form, in the back corner. Ignored. Until our form tutor, Mr East decided to announce there was a new member. His name was Jake and he stood timidly at the front. Sir told him to come and sit next to me as he thought we'd get on. Jake was wearing black jeans, big Doc Martens, a Misfits tank top and a graffitied leather jacket. "Hey." He said, sitting down next to me.

"Uh hi" I mumbled back, I've never done this before. The next 15 minutes passed in silence, I just sat uncomfortably looking out of the window. On the way to the next lesson, I got stuck behind Jake and Ashley in a full flow of conversation. Wait what? Ashley Purdy, judgemental dick that has no time for anyone is talking to Jake. And Jake is like me.

"Listen, mate just do me a favour. Don't get cosy with Andy. He can't know or I'm fucked."

"Andy? I wasn't planning on, he's a bit socially retarded anyway."

"Well, you got that right. Or just a general retard in all areas of life." Jake and Ashley burst out laughing but stopped when they caught sight of me. Jake didn't do anything, but Ashley grabbed me by my jacket and dragged me outside, to the back of the field. I think he was angry. I was pinned up against the old stone wall, feeling my feet rise up off the ground. My shoulders were being jammed into jagedy pieces of rock and I felt something hot and sticky trickle down my back. As Ashley got angrier, why I do not know, my back was being pushed into the wall, creating more cuts I could feel.

"Ashley stop!" I shouted, but it came out as more of a desperate plea.

"You can dream. And I don't know what part of our conversation you heard, but I'm going to make sure you won't remember a bit of it by the morning. Got it?" He spat at me, grabbing a fistful of my hair and dragging me down the wall and onto the floor with it. I couldn't feel the world around me anymore, every part of my body was crying out in pain, bruised or bleeding.