Sometimes Ace hated to think this way

First of all, english is not my first language. I'm not good at it. But I try to teach myself, it didn't work like I hoped, but it worke (partly). I can understood and read english better than bevor but speaking and writing? That is still bad.
Anyways I have to thanks my Beta Reader for her help. So thank you, my lovely friend. You are the best!
And I hope, that I fixed all mistakes. If I not, I'm sorry!

________________________________________________________________________

Ace couldn't help but smile when he saw how happy his little brother was. He loved to see the far too big grin on his face and was glad that his brother's crew had something to do with it. Frankly, Ace had been a little surprised that there were actually people who wanted to follow the straw hat wearer and did. He knew first-hand how tiring the young pirate could be and that you had nothing but trouble with him. And yet he stood here, on the ship of his little brother with him and his crew, the straw hat pirates.

It almost made him shake his head lovingly. Who would have thought that this weepy, weak little child would actually become a crewed pirate captain? Ace would not have thought it's possible when he met the boy so many years ago. Even less, he would have thought that he would never proudly call this plague of a child his little brother or that he would want to protect him. Back then, one of these actions seemed more ridiculous than the other, and yet both had happened. And only because Luffy was so ridiculously stubborn and couldn't leave him alone.

Ace frowned. To this day, he has not been able to fully understand why his brother had done what he had. Luffy had given him an answer to the question, but the firefighter was still unable to understand. He had treated this little child so terribly, and still it followed him through the jungle every day and in the end actually managed to find him. And as if that wasn't bad enough, the then seven-year-old had let himself beaten up by a pirate's cheap excuse instead of telling him what he had wanted to know. Hell, he had been aware the location of the treasure! Why couldn't he have just said it?!

"Because Ace wouldn't be my friend then... I'm alone all the time. Being alone is much worse than getting hurt!"

Gritting his teeth, Ace clenched his fists and struggled for a moment to get his composure. The whole thing happened years ago, his little brother was fine. He wasn't hurt, he wasn't alone, he had no reason to do something stupid again and risk his own life just that someone who didn't deserve it, begins to like him. He hadn't done anything to deserve it, he didn't deserve Luffy! He hadn't deserved this small, radiant ball of energy, not after the way he had treated him.

And still, Ace was happy about it. Glad Luffy was his little brother and glad how he brightened his life. Even if the rubber boy was a pain in the ass. And some part of him was happy about what had happened to Porcemi back then. Even though he hated himself for that thought.

How could he allow himself tofeel anything remotely positive that involved his little brother being hurt? Ace may have had a completely different relationship with the younger one at the time, but that didn't change the fact that it was wrong to think so. Still, part of him couldn't help but think so. Because if this hadn't happened back then, could he have built the same relationship with Luffy that he has now?

He had started to acknowledge the boy when he had let himself be beaten up and kept silent, justfor a chance of becoming his friend. Just because he wanted Ace to like him and because he'd rather die than be alone.

Something broke in Ace every time he thought about it. Because of his being mean, because of his hatred for the boys'constant happiness, he had almost died. A little later and ... It would have been his fault because he couldn't have been nice to the child, who wanted nothing more than to be his friend.

Would he have felt bad?

Ace blinked at the thought. Would he have done it? Would he really have had a bad conscience if this child had died because of him? If he was being honest, he didn't know for sure. He didn't know if he would have blamed himself or if he would have felt bad.

The fact was that he had been shocked to learn that Luffyhad been tortured for his silence. There was an infinite rage boiling inside him. An anger that had targeted both Porcemi and Luffy. He hadn't understood, this little child whom he thought was weak and annoying had, in fact, kept silent to protect something he shouldn't know about. He said nothing, even though Ace had wanted to kill him because he knew about it!

Hell, how could Ace not have been angry? Thinking about it he wasn't just angry. In addition to anger, there had been something else. Anxiety. Afraid that something would happen to this stupid little child. It couldn't have been more ridiculous. He had spent months brutally keeping the boy away from him and suddenly he was worried that something would happen to him.

And then, when the same child was crying and explaining why he had done everything, nothing made sense to Ace anymore. After all, Luffy did what he didbecause he wanted to be his friend. And then the answer to when he asked if the younger one wanted him to live. His confidence and sheer determination as if it would be the worst possible thing in the world if he didn't live. Ace could have almost started crying himself.

There was this battered child sitting in front of him that he had treated terribly and that same child was still convinced that he wanted Ace to live and that he wanted to be his friend. It had just been too much for him and without realizing it, this fraternal determination had spread through him. He would not let this happy child lose his bright laugh, what made him feel happy. He had decided to protect him and made the little boy his brother.

He didn't regret his decision. And if he thought about it for a moment and was honest, he didn't fully regret being slightly happy that all of this had happened. His future would have been different if it hadn't. Because it would have lost a crucial detail. His beloved, if sometimes annoying, little brother. They would never have this relationship with each other if all these things had never happened.
"Ace? Are you all right?" His brother's concerned voice pulled the pirate out of his thoughts and made him look at the younger one. With a smile, he pushed the straw hat off his owner's head, so that it now dangled around his neck, only to ruffle the boy's hair.

"Yeah, everything is fine. I just remembered something."

Yeah, he thought, I am glad that everything had played out the way it did.

And yes, sometimes Ace hated to think this way. Because it was wrong, but it was also the truth.