Complementary

twenty five

you - the 1975

zayn

"Well, it's about time you showed up." Ella sing-songs from behind the counter. "Of all days to be late to this no-name coffee shop, you're a half hour late on free coffee day."

I roll my eyes at her as I grab my apron off its hook and shove it over my head, tying it around my waist. "My truck broke down, Ella. I had to get a ride from my friend."

She grins playfully. "You take the register today, got it? We don't need any more complaints about crappy cups of coffee, especially today."

I roll my eyes again.

I have been working at Meg's coffee shop for nearly two weeks now. It requires much more activity than sitting behind the counter of a convenience store, but I haven't found myself minding it, actually. It consumes my full attention which means I do not have much time to think about Carlie.

As for Ella, her and I have gotten surprisingly close. She is a very sweet girl - only 17, but she bosses me around like a neurotic mother. I suppose I could use the direction, which is very amusing. I enjoy her company and I get the feeling that she enjoys mine, just maybe a bit differently than she should, since we are only friends.

I am pulled out of my thoughts when the bell attached to the door rings, signaling someone has arrived. I look up, only to have my breath hitch in my throat.

Her light eyes meet mine and it feels as if everything around us freezes. Her lips part in shock, and it takes a moment before she finally composes herself.

"Carlie," I hear myself mumble.

"Um," she speaks, her voice hesitant as she nears me. "You work here now?"

I nod. "Ever since I got fired from my other job."

She blinks. "Right."

"Yeah," I let out a pent up breath. "What do you want?"

"What?"

"Your order. What do you want?" I repeat, my tone a bit harsher than intended.

"Oh, sorry," she apologizes softly. "Um, actually, Zayn, do you think we could talk instead?"

I chew on my lip in contemplation, glancing over at Ella as I do so. A line seems to have formed behind Carlie, but knowing Ella, she will let me take a quick break.

"Go ahead." She urges, proving my assumption correct.

I send her a thankful smile and move out from behind the register, looking expectantly at Carlie. She appears to be anxious, fidgeting with the hem of her sweater and fixing her hair, which isn't really necessary.

Since she makes no move to initiate anything, I lead her to a table for two in the corner and we sit down. She sighs heavily and I wait for her to speak - I surely am not going to be the first.

"Listen, Zayn," she begins. "I didn't mean for things to go like this. I know it has been quite a while since we last spoke, and that's all my fault. I take the blame for everything."

I continue gazing at her, thinking she still has more to say, but she goes quiet. Her eyes scan my face as if she is trying to gauge my reaction to her words.

"That is all you have to say, Carlie?" I ask. "After everything? After you completely dropped me and messed around with another guy?"

She swallows, visibly ashamed. "What I did was inexcusable so I am not going to waste my breath trying to justify my actions. All you really need to know is that I am truly sorry for that."

I glare at her in disbelief. How she could sit here, so calm and content with what has gone on in the past month is beyond me. Something about her has changed, and I can't put my finger on it.

"You really fucking hurt me, Carlie," I murmur. "I thought you had learned to trust me, but then you basically told me you regret letting me in like that. And then seeing you with Liam...I couldn't believe you had gone back to your old habits that quickly."

"I panicked." She states, her voice emotionless. "We were getting serious, Zayn. I was spending days on end at your place, seeing you and talking to you all the time. Whenever I would write, the words that went down on paper always seemed to be about you. You were consuming my every thought and it was terrifying me. So I pushed you away and tried to forget you, which didn't work, actually. I couldn't forget you."

I bow my head, letting my gaze drop down to my lap. Her words are flattering me; they are warming up my entire body, making my palms sweat and my heart skip a beat. She hurt me so bad, yet she sits here, and all I feel for her is longing. I want to go back to the way things were, but that would not be fair to do to myself.

"You can't keep doing this to me," I say. "You can't keep walking in and out of my life expecting me not to care about it."

She nods. "I know I can't, but I miss you, Zayn."

"I miss you, too."

"Do you forgive me?" She asks. "Be honest."

I run my hands over my face, nearly groaning with frustration. "Of course I forgive you, Carlie. No matter what you do, I'll forgive you, even if it's not fair to myself to let you treat me like this."

"I promise you I won't do any of that again."

"Okay," I say. "But why are you just telling me this now? Why not weeks ago when all of this happened?"

Finally, she tears her eyes away from me. "I needed to take time for myself. Within all of that mental panic when I realized how much I really care for you, I also realized that what you had said a while ago was correct. I was beginning to depend on you for happiness. And you know I don't like that feeling. You became my only source of happiness and there is something clinically wrong with that, so I decided I actually needed to do something about it."

My lips part as I realize what she is implying. "Did you go and talk to someone...professionally?"

She nods bashfully.

"I'm proud of you." I tell her honestly. "That's brave."

Her lips curl into the tiniest of smiles, indicating that she, too, is proud of herself. "I'm feeling better lately."

For some reason, I find myself reaching across the table and taking her hand in my own. Her skin feels electric against mine; I have missed the familiarity of that.

"I really am sorry, though," she speaks again. "I've missed you more than I'd like to admit."

"As much as I wish I could still be angry with you, I'm not."

She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth. "I won't blame you if you are."

"I'm not, though it feels like I should be. It just sucked seeing you with someone else and not hearing from you until today." I huff out a breath of air, the hurt in my heart diminishing.

"It was an attempt to rid myself of the constant thought of you. Like I said before, it didn't work."

"Good." I say.

Hearing this, she smirks slightly, squeezing my hand with her own. "Would you like to start over, Zayn?"

I think before speaking. "I would, but I do not want to completely disregard what has already happened between us."

"I wouldn't want to do that either," she agrees. "How about I come by your place later and we'll lay in your bed, yeah? For the sake of what has already happened between us."

A grin finds its way onto my face. "It's a date."