𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐮𝐬𝐭 - Dixison

𝐁𝐮𝐫𝐲 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞

Warning this is just a big angst piece of writing done while listening to my heartbroken playlist. Obviously inspired from Moondust by Jaymes Young but a little inspired but I hate u, I love u by Gnash. Also like three cuss words?? Lmao

It wasn't supposed to end up like this. With her alone, and the other with some guy. Some guy she wasn't even sure the girl genuinely liked at that. Their love was supposed to be it. The greatest thing known, and yet, the two were hardly able to remain in the same room now. The pain, the love, and the history of it all being too much. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

    "I love you." The brunette says so softly. It brings a smile to Addison's face. Her hand gently holds her face. "I love you too Dixie." A smile is shared between the two girls. Words are uttered that mean so much to them. "I can't imagine my world without you in it." Dixie's voice is so quiet, Addison almost doesn't catch what's said. But her eyes are on her like she's the only girl in the world. "Then I'll always be here-"

"Addison? Are you listening to me?" Her eyes snap away from the other girl. Charli is standing in front of her. Right, she thinks to herself. She doesn't love me. She offers a smile to the younger girl. "What's up?" She tries her best to be cheery and thankfully Charli buys it. "We're going to hang out at the pool, did you want to join?" Even if she bought it concern paints her face. "You good? You've been different lately." She doesn't even know what to say. Should she tell her how it feels like her hearts been ripped to pieces. How she can't sleep, can't even eat properly.

She smiles and nods. "I'm fine. Just been tired lately." Charli frowns as she comes closer. "You sure? I know you and Dixie haven't been as close. Did you two fight?" Addison tenses a bit at her name. "Really Charli, I'm fine. I'm gonna go get ready to swim."

   Addison feels bad for leaving so abruptly but she could not handle that conversation. She bounces up the stairs as she tries to think of excuses to stay in her room. She knows she should be spending time with the others, it's just... hard. She can't handle being around the other D'Amelio for too long. Not anymore at least.

   She opened the door and let out a breath of relief. She hated sharing a room with the girl now. She always tried to come in late as possible and leave early as possible. She grabbed her swimsuit and headed straight to the bathroom. It's as she's changing that she hears the door open again. She debated staying in the bathroom until she leaves but knows she can't really stay in there. So once she finishes she takes a deep breath and walks out the door.

    "I guess I'm getting a special appearance tonight?" Addison frowns as she tries to move to the door. Dixie puts her hand on the door stopping her. "Wait! I know you're avoiding me Addison. Can we please just talk?" Dixie gets it all out and gives Addison her best puppy eyes. The blonde frowns for a moment before huffing. "What could you possibly want to say to me? That you're sorry? That you want to be friends? Because you and I both know we are more than friends." Addison spits out the words that she's been holding in for weeks. "I am sorry. I keep saying it and you keep avoiding me. What am I supposed to do when you won't even stay in the same room as me for five minutes!" She raises her voice at the end of her sentence which only makes Addison defensive.

"Sorry? I'm just supposed to accept your apology after what you did? I was in love with you and you left me! Do you know how that even felt Dixie? To have the girl you love leave and then start dating someone in your friend group? To have to see her daily and act like it doesn't fucking hurt? As she tells the world she's straight but behind closed doors you loved to kiss me. Because until you do, I don't want your fucking apology." She's yelling by the end and truthfully she doesn't care who hears. Because it's been weeks since the break up and she hasn't even gotten to properly think on it with everyone around her. It doesn't hit her until she wipes her face that she's started crying and then she's sinking to the floor as she cries more.

"I love you Dixie, and you left." For a moment the girl is stunned at the outburst. Addison has never even raised her voice at her and to see her now? So heartbroken, it broke her a bit. It's too easy when she wraps her arms around her whispering soft words. "I know and I'm sorry." She gets out finally. "I hate you, I hate you so much." Dixie swallows the lump in her throat, she deserved those words. Addison deserved so much better than she could ever give. She hated herself for causing the only girl she'd ever truly love such pain. But this was the way it was supposed to end.

If this gets good feedback I might make a happier one-shot of these two? (Or maybe a part two ¯\_(ツ)_/¯). I know it was pretty sad but I just get a sad love story vibe from this ship lol. But as always leave a comment if you enjoyed it and don't be afraid to vote either!