Maybe I Even Love You - Larry Stylingson

Chapter 5 - Can't sleep...

*Harry's POV*

We were back home now, we had a great time hanging out at Liam's house, but I couldn't really focus on the game, all I could focus on was Louis' beautiful hair, eyes, dimples, lips. Just his whole body was so beautiful.

But... I'm not gay, am I? No no no, I can't be. I've got to be like the others, I've got to date girls and only girls. Girls, girls, girls.

Louis said goodnight and went off to his room, and was probably sleeping perfectly by now. However, I couldn't sleep at all, just like last night.

That would mean that the only sleep I've had was for about twenty minutes on the sofa with Louis. That's what it is! I need Louis to sleep.

I need to tell him about my feelings... I just don't know how.

Could I call someone? My mum? Maybe... but she'll be sleeping. I've got to, I can't carry on like this...

I crawl out of bed a quietly grab my phone and a jacket, open the door and creep down the stairs, praying that Louis doesn't hear me.

I reach the front door, and just before I open it, remember how loud it is. So, instead, I go to the back door, which is a sliding glass door, and quietly slide it open.

Once I am outside and at the bottom of the garden in the shed, I take out my phone and dial my mum's number. She picks up almost instantly.

"Is everything alright Harry?"

"Y-yeah... it's just, I need to tell you something."

"What is it, sweetie?" There is an uncomfortable silence. "You know you can tell me anything."

"I-I think I love someone, but I don't think they'll love me back."

"Well, darling, I know for sure that no one could reject that cute little face of yours! Who could this mystery person be?"

"Ummm.... I don't really know if I want to tell you."

"It's alright, honey. You know I can only help you if I know who it is."

"Well.... I don't know if you can, because it's... it's Lou."

"Lou? As in Louis Tomlinson, right?"

There is silence as I do not answer.

"Harry?"

"Y-yes..."

"Oh Harry sweetie what's there to worry about that? There's no need to be so worried about telling me, you need to be worried about telling him."

I stay silent in shock that my mum just completely ignored the fact that that means I'm either gay or bi or pan or something. What? I don't know, but I know I love Louis.

And that's all that matters.

"Well how do I tell him? It'd be a bit awkward if I just said 'hey by the way I like you more than a friend."

"Would it though? Would it be awkward if it was a girl?"

Ah. I hadn't thought of that.

"Well... maybe a little, but not nearly as much."

"Harry, darling, just because Louis is a guy doesn't mean that anything should be more or less awkward. It just means that some people may not accept you for who you are, but you can't help that, I can't help that, and neither can Louis."

"Thanks, mum. I needed that. I'll wait for the right moment though, probably when we're on holiday. Maybe I'll wait until we're both on the beach together... alone."

"That sounds perfect Harry. Now you go get some sleep, and I will too. It's past midnight. If you can't sleep, just listen to some of your songs, his voice will eventually soothe you to sleep, surely."

I smile even though she can't see and we say our goodbyes before hanging up.

I hadn't realised, but there were a few tears on my face, shock and admiration for my mum's actions, she was so nice even when she just found out her son isn't straight over the phone.... wow, she's such a role model.

I wipe them away and, as quietly as possible, make my way back to my bedroom, where I rest my head, hoping that what I said about being on a beach together alone will happen.

I take my earphones and put them into my phone, turning on FOUR and resting my head on my pillow, hoping to fall asleep.

~

Any cultured brits out there? I'm gonna quite Byker Grove but imma switch up the words a lil.

HE CAN'T SLEEP MAN!!!

Thanks for reading!

-Dan