Can You Feel My Heart (Oli Sykes x Reader)

12

Your POV: 

"Oli fainted. And we can't wake him up." 

I pushed past Nicholls, disregarding the fact that it was rude. Oli wasn't waking up. That wasn't normal. As soon as I saw them crowded around him, I jumped onto one of the benches to look over them. Lee was pouring cold water on his face and forcing him to drink it. I reached for his hand, too afraid to see how rotten my luck had turned. If he was- 

When I felt how faint his heartbeat was, my heart shattered. I wasn't sure when the tears started, but now they wouldn't stop. His chest was still moving up and down, so he was breathing, but his breathing was really shallow, and he wouldn't inhale very often. 

That's when the ambulance arrived. Everything was a whirl of paramedics trying to pry me away, the band holding me back, me crying and not letting go, riding in the back of the ambulance with him, and white walls. A lot of white walls. I was allowed in his room the whole time, mostly because fighting me just wasn't worth it right now. I didn't really know what they were doing, just that his eyes kept shut, and that the heart monitor was beating so much slower than my stuttering heart rate. The bandmates took turns sitting with Oli and I, and attempting to comfort me. I wasn't speaking. 

I had been completely mute for the last four hours, my throat sore from all of the screaming I'd done when they were trying to keep me away. But it wasn't just that. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I didn't want to tell anyone what was going on in my head. 

The heart rate monitor picked up when it was Nicholls turn to sit with us. I looked over at Oli expectantly, but was still heartbroken when he didn't open his eyes. It stayed at the quicker rate for a few hours though, before picking up again, with his breathing. Both were back to what was usually normal. 

A stream of doctors followed. He wouldn't speak, but he finally opened his eyes, which looked so dull. I heard some murmers of overdose. But he'd been off of it, so who? 

But when the last of them came through, Oli's eyes landed on me.

They. 

Lit. 

Up. 

And he opened his mouth, choking out a few groggy words. "(Y/n)? Don't worry about me. " 

I squeezed his hand, which he returned a little bit, but not nearly as tightly as he used to. I spoke for the first time since this morning, "I want to switch places with you so bad, Oli. " My voice cracked as the tears came so much faster than they head been earlier. 

Oli reached up and stroked my hair. "Don't cry baby, " He said, his voice still not sounding normal. He struggled to pull his other hand up, as it was attached to the IV. He made a motion beckoning me to come closer. I did, and he strained to move his hand to my eyes, drying my tears away. 

I smiled a little bit, because even in his agony, he was undeniably sweet. "But you're trapped in this... " I gestured to the room. 

Oli smiled a tiny bit, and he forced a few lyrics out of his mouth. "In this hospital for souls. " He coughed afterwards. 

"Don't try to sing, " Nicholls said. "You'll strain yourself. "

"The concert, " Oli said, finally sounding more Oli-like than before. He ran his hands through his dark brown hair. "Fuck." He threw his head back. He looked at me, visible frustration in his eyes. 

I didn't know how to make him feel better. I was torn on how to respond. Reassurance or sympathy? 

"Stop ruining your pretty face with that frown, " He said to me, and I was snapped away from my thoughts. 

"How long has it been Matt?" Oli asked. 

"It's nearly eight at night," Nicholls replied. 

"How are the others? " 

"Jordan and Matt went to bring back some food. Lee is outside the room. " 

"And how long has she been holding my hand like that? " 

"Seven and a half straight hours. No one can pry her off. " He chuckled. "You should have heard her screaming, Oli. It was impressive. " 

I looked down and blushed darkly, this time from complete humiliation. I wasn't completely aware of what I was doing at the time. 

Oli looked at me, moving the hand that was tangled in my hair to my chin to force me to look at him. "Did you really?"

I nodded slowly, not knowing what else to say. "I didn't want to leave you because I was worried. And what if you didn't wake up? Being near you was the confirmation that-" But I hadn't noticed that he'd been pulling me closer and closer to him the whole time I was rambling, so I was surprised when he silenced me with a soft kiss. 

"You're sweet, really. But I'm not going to die on you, (y/n)." His reassurence brought the tears back to my eyes, and I just hugged him as tightly as I could, everything overflowing inside of me all at once. Oli returned my hug. 

Oli POV: 

I don't know how it had happened exactly. I just remember gasping for breath and then everything going black. When I woke up, (y/n) and Nicholls were the first two people I saw, before a stream of doctors. But when I saw her face, it broke me. She was so sad, so worried. I wanted to tell her not to be sad, that I was okay. But even when I told her not to worry, she didn't stop crying. I'd found out that she hadn't left me for even a second in the last seven and a half hours. It terrified me how much she cared. I don't know how else to explain it. I didn't want to lose her so badly that I wanted to let go, just to stop feeling this way. But of course, I wouldn't do that. I couldn't lose her. 

But seeing her so worked up over her own demons and fears haunting her, it was what really broke me. She just fell apart, completely. I didn't know how to make it better. All I could do was hold her, and tell her that everything was okay. That I was coming back. I swore it.