Minute by Minute

Chapter 9

As I pry my eyes open, I feel the hot sun against my face. I prop myself up with my elbows and notice I'm not in my cabin in the bus. I'm still on the beach. I look around and notice Aidan to my left, still sound asleep. Neither of us went back last night. I don't even remember anything after crying.

I turn to Aidan and shake him awake. When his eyes open, they land on mine and then at the beach in front of us. He looks back to me and grabs hold of my arms, pulling me towards him so that my chin is resting on his chest. He looks down to me and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. I lean in to his palm, loving the feel of his touch.

 "You feeling ok?" he whispers, concern laced in his words.

 "Not completely, but better than before," I assure him. I grab my phone from my back pocket and notice 13 missed calls from Josh and 47 messages from Emma. "We should get back. They're looking for us."

We get up and make sure we have everything before we start walking. Our walk is silent for a few minutes. It's a comfortable silence. No words are needed. And even if I wanted to speak, my mind is preoccupied. No doubt as soon as we get back, my brother will bombard me with questions of my whereabouts all night. And I also have a feeling that Emma will question me about spending yet another night with Aidan. I could just let her believe whatever it is that she thinks happened. But if I do that, I'll never hear the end of it. 

My mind suddenly wanders back to the events of last night. The fact that I was able to talk to someone about this weight that's been on my shoulders for so long. And then I think of how sweet Aidan was. He made me feel ok. He made sure that I knew it wasn't my fault. And in that moment, I felt like I was finally allowed to release a breath that I've been holding inside since that day. And when we reach the bus, just as he's about to open the door, I stop him.

"Aidan wait." He turns to me and waits for me to speak. "I never thanked you, for last night. For being there."

"Don't worry about . It was nothing," he says with a soft smile.

"But it was something. You have no idea how long I've been carrying that guilt with me."

"You never told anyone about it?"

I shake my head in response. "I didn't want to admit that I was the reason she's gone. But that feeling never went away. And my mom doesn't remember what happened right before the accident, except what I told her. She blames it on the weather. But waking up to the news almost completely desroyed her. I couldn't tell her what I was trying to do."

"Isla, I told you. It's not your fault." His words are persistent and his eyes are doing everything they can to convince me that what he says is true. 

"No, I know that now. You helped me see that. So, again, thank you." 

"Well," he begins as he steps closer to me. "Whenever you need someone to save you from yourself, I'll be right there." He's so close that I can feel his breath on the side of my face. I catch myself staring down at his lips and I'm so tempted to kiss him then and there. 

I can tell he knows the effect he has on me. His eyes glance down my lips and quickly back up. I know I said I needed time, but right now that's the last thing on my mind. I slowly start leaning in to him, trying to show him what I want at the moment. Our lips are grazing each other's. His hands go up to my cheeks. And just as I think he's gonna close the space between us, he slightly pulls away and rests his forehead on mine.

My breathing is heavy, almost desperate. I've never wanted him more. His hands are still cupping my face when he speaks in his quiet voice. "I thought you said you needed time."