Minute by Minute

Chapter 12

It's been three days. Three days since the Skyview ride. Three days since my last kiss with Aidan, three days since he's spoken to me. Three days since he told me he loved me. And three days since I broke his heart and let go of the best thing in my life.

We're still in Atlanta. None of us have really been in the mood to do anything fun since then. We've only really left the bus to get food. And even then, either Aidan or I stay behind. We can't exactly avoid seeing each other but he's been clever about limiting his contact with me. There's only so many places one of us can escape to though. So if we're both in the same section, he refuses to even glance in my direction. I have to admit, when I ended things, I didn't expect to lose him as a friend too. But I understand. He needs time. We both do.

Right now, he's in the cabin section while the rest of us are in the living section. Not only has he shut me out, and rightfully so, but he's done the same to the others. Emma and Josh and even Oscar have tried talking to him but fail each time. I tried once but Aidan just acted as if I wasn't even there. That was two days ago.

I'm sitting by myself near a corner, not at all in the mood to interact with anyone when I see him come in. His eyes look bloodshot, with dark circles underneath. His hair is messy and his clothes are wrinkled. It looks as if all the energy and life in him is completely gone. He looks broken, shattered even. And it's my fault. I did this to him. I can't look at him like this. I can't look at the boy that I've known and cared for my whole life knowing that I'm the one who hurt him.

Before I can look away, his red eyes meet mine and I swear I almost lose it. I feel the tears begin to spring into my eyes and it's too much for me to handle. I get up from my seat and head to the cabins, avoiding his gaze as I pass him.

I lay down in my cabin and let the tears roll down my cheeks as I cling to the pillow. Why am I crying? I ended things. I did this. It doesn't make sense. I don't get to feel sad about this.

Just then, I hear the section door open. Naomi comes in and sits by my side. There's a moment of silence before she speaks. "Are you ok?"

"No," I say in between sobs. "I think I'm the biggest idiot in the world."

"Well, kind of," she says causing me to laugh. "So you wanna tell me the real reason why you ended things?"

"What do you mean? I already told you guys."

"Isla you don't seriously expect us to believe that you didn't want to deal with the negatives of love?"

"Why is that so hard to believe?"

She gives me a knowing look and says, "Because I've known you the last 7 years, and I also know that if any of us could handle the arguments if we loved someone, it'd be you. So what are you scared of?"

Letting him in. The possibility of us hurting each other. The idea of being vulnerable with someone else. The idea of ending up losing him. "I'm not scared," I say, sounding a bit defensive.

"Then why are you sitting in here crying your eyes out instead of going out there and telling Aidan that you wanna be with him?" she lectures.

"Oh please, like you're one to talk?" I say, now annoyed. "Why aren't you out there telling Dimitri that you wanna be with him? What are you scared of, Naomi?" I pause for a brief moment to fake contemplation. "Oh that's right, you're afraid of actually committing to someone or even opening yourself up to someone."

"What are you talking about?" she says, a little caught off guard.

"I'm talking about the fact that D has been going after you for over a year and you've been leading him on."