Unholyverse

~Part 9~

He wasn't in the room he was sharing with Mikey; but Frank found him in his and Ray's room, sitting on the floor between the bed and the wall, with his knees pulled up to his shoulders. He peeped over the bed when Frank opened the door like he was afraid of who it might be - but he relaxed minutely when he saw it was Frank.

"Hey," said Frank, skirting around the bed to squeeze into the gap with Gerard. "Hey, it's okay. Don't listen to Mikey, he's out of his mind."

"But it's not just Mikey." Gerard wrapped his arms around his knees and rocked back and forth a little. "They all think I'm crazy."

"What? That's not true."

"It is," Gerard insisted. "Ray."

"Ray's just saying what Mikey wants to hear," Frank said firmly, and then regretted it, because why would Mikey want to hear that his brother was trying to kill people? "I mean, he's probably just trying to be supportive," he amended, risking a hand on top of Gerard's.

Gerard dropped his head down onto his arms. His shoulders hitched, and then he folded forwards, suddenly, out of his tight little tangle and into Frank's space. "I hate this."

Frank brought his arms up, wrapping them around Gerard's shoulders and squeezing him tight. "I know. I know you do. But we're gonna figure it out and it's gonna be okay."

"Not if they're all against me."

"They're not against you," Frank said automatically, although he remembered what it had felt like when the guys had been skeptical about Frank's own ordeal. Like being at sea, but not in a boat, just alone in the dark with a giant fucking tidal wave heading straight for you, and the ship with the lifejackets in was heading in the opposite direction. "They love you. They're just worried. And acting like dicks."

"Maybe they're right," Gerard said in a dull tone. "Maybe I am going crazy. Maybe I'm doing these things and I just don't remember."

"No."

"You should just let the Hoods take me," Gerard's voice wobbled and he curled in tighter to Frank's chest. "If I hurt you, Frank, I would never forgive myself, ever."

"No fucking way." Frank got his hands around Gerard's face and forced him to look up. "Listen to me. You are not crazy," he said, stroking his thumbs over Gerard's cheekbones. "Unless you think for one second that any of us would just throw you to the wolves like that."

Gerard looked unconvinced. He brought his hands up to curl around Frank's wrists.

"I am not going to let anything happen to you," Frank promised him softly. "Not ever. Understand?"

Gerard bit his lip. "What if..." he trailed off, looking down.

"What?"

Gerard took a deep breath and reluctantly met Frank's eyes again. "What if I did something bad?"

Frank's stomach clenched. "Bad how?"

Gerard's eyes darted around, and Frank could barely hear him when he admitted, "I lied to you."

"About what?"

"About the Cardinal." Gerard took Frank's hands and held them tightly, as if he was afraid Frank might try to pull away. "I didn't call him."

"What?" Frank held on to his hands, but didn't try to keep the shock out of his voice. "But you said-"

"I know what I said!" Gerard clung and pulled Frank closer. "But I was too scared, Frankie, you know they're going to make me leave you. They'll probably say we can't even be friends."