Unholyverse

~Part 28~

He woke up a few hours later, groggy and sticky-eyed and instantly aware that something was wrong. He rolled over and sure enough, Gerard's side of the bed was empty and cold, and there was a soft slither of light coming from under the door to the living room.

Frank rubbed his hands over his face and sighed, before sliding out of bed and opening the door. "Gee, what the hell."

Gerard was sitting in a chair with his back to Frank. He didn't even look round, probably too engrossed in his fucking book, as usual.

Frank marched up behind him. "This is ridiculous, Gerard. I try to be patient with you, God knows, but it is not unreasonable for me to expect you to sleep one night through in the damn bed!" Frank reached the chair just as Gerard spun around to face him.

He wasn't reading. He was fully dressed, and he was wearing his - "Are you wearing your collar?" Frank gaped. "Is this a fucking joke? Because I don't even have words for how not funny it is, man."

Gerard didn't say a word. He just smiled, and it was weird because it didn't look like his smile, it looked like he was wearing someone else's, and Frank felt the anger in his veins go cold and turn into something else. Gerard's hand moved, and Frank's eyes were drawn to it; he was holding the rosary, Frank's rosary, and as Frank watched in horror, the skin on Gerard's fingers began to sear and crackle everywhere he touched the wooden beads.

"No," said Frank, taking a clumsy step backwards. "No, we fixed you, we - I saved you."

"Saved me?" Gerard laughed, watching his hand burn with detached interest. "Is that what you think?"

He got up from the chair and Frank turned and ran; or he tried to, anyway, it felt like he was stuck in tar or something, he couldn't get away, and when he opened his mouth, Gerard's hand covered it, muffling the sound.

"Don't scream," he whispered, and then Luke was there, advancing on Frank with his hands outstretched, a manic smile on his wizened, blank-eyed face.

"Frankie, Frankie," he cooed in his cracked old voice, and Frank struggled and kicked and bit, but he couldn't get free, he couldn't - Gerard was gone, he was gone again and this time Frank wouldn't be able to save him and it was all for nothing, it had all been for nothing.

"Frank."

Frank's eyes flew open and he found that Gerard was in front of him now; Frank threw a punch, which missed by a mile because he couldn't fucking move, it was like all his limbs were filled with sand.

"Frankie, it's me," Gerard grabbed at his hands and held them still. "Wake up, it's okay, it's only a dream."

Frank shook his head; his chest heaved and his heart was hammering, and there was cold sweat running down his temples and the back of his neck. He fought Gerard; trying to shove him off the bed - but they weren't in the bed before, they were in the living room, and Gerard was...

Frank swallowed the acid in his throat and looked at the lamp by his bed. The rosary was draped over the shade where he'd left it, and Gerard was wearing PJ's, not a collar.

"It was a dream," Gerard repeated, shuffling closer to Frank on the sweat-soaked sheets. He was still holding Frank's hands, but he let go of one now to clasp Frank's shoulder firmly. "Just a dream, sweetheart, it's over now."

"You were," Frank started, and then just folded forward against Gerard, who wrapped his arms around him tight and rocked him a little bit.

"It's over now," he repeated softly, pressing a kiss into Frank's hair. "I'm right here."

Frank wriggled his arm out enough to touch Gerard's side of the bed, where the covers were thrown back. It was cold, and he drew back. "But you weren't. You went to read in the living room, didn't you?"

Gerard ducked his head. "You were sleeping," he said guiltily. "I didn't think you'd notice."

"Yeah, well." Frank pushed him away a little and curled up, hugging his knees to his chest and squeezing his eyes shut against the memory of the dream. "I did notice."

"I'm sorry," Gerard came to sit next to him, hugging his own knees so he was mirroring Frank's pose. "I came as soon as I heard you shout."

Frank wiped his face against his shoulder and sighed, looking up at the ceiling while he tried to find a way to explain it that Gerard might finally be able to understand. "If you'd been here then you could have woken me as soon as I started to make any noise. As soon as the dream started."

"Well, actually even what feels like a really long dream can last just five minutes in real time," Gerard began, and Frank just wasn't in the mood for his fucking lectures right now, so he started to climb out of bed but Gerard stopped him. "No, Frank, don't, please, I'm sorry, okay? I won't do it again."

"Gerard," Frank sighed. Gerard was trying, Frank knew he was. "Just shut up and lie down."

Gerard pulled the covers back up and spooned around Frank from behind, holding him close. He laid his cheek against the back of Frank's neck. "What was it? The dream?"

Frank closed his eyes and pressed back into the warm curve of Gerard's body. "I don't want to talk about it."

Gerard was quiet for a minute. "Okay," he said, and Frank could tell that he knew, but there was no point in discussing it. They'd been down that road before and it just ended up with them both getting upset. Frank was too tired and too pissed and he didn't have the energy. On the other hand, he would never get back to sleep with Gerard lying behind him, all tense and sad and frustrated.

Frank wriggled around to face him. Gerard's eyes were closed, and his mouth was turned down at the corners. Frank sighed. "It's all right," he said. He found the cross around Gerard's neck and tangled his fingers in the chain. "It's okay. We're okay."

Gerard shook his head against the pillow, then opened his eyes. "I just wish that I could make them stop," he said anxiously. "The dreams. I wish I could find a way."

Frank shushed him. "You can - just, you can be here when I wake up. Okay?"

"Okay." Gerard nodded hard. "I will, Frankie. I promise. I mean it this time."

Frank had heard it before, so he wasn't sure if he believed it. But he knew that Gerard did, and that was what counted, in the end.