Forgive me, please?

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<><><>Gale's POV<><><>

My heart is heavy. So, so heavy. I don't know if I can handle it. Just knowing that I could've prevented it leaves a mark in my heart that is impossible to mend. I could've done something. Anything. How did I not see it? How did I not know?

I pummel the side of my head with my knuckles, pain shooting through my skull and fingers, trickling through my wrists and up my arms. oFresh tears prickle the corner of my eyes, and I hastily wipe them away. Crying wont bring him back. Nothing will.

I furrow my brows, ignoring the pounding headache that rattles restlessly against my skull. I rub my temples, hoping for any kind of relief.

I lean against the brick wall, resting my head against it. My hair tickles the nape of my neck, and I adjust the collar of my funeral suit. No one will find me here. Quite frankly, I don't want them to.

No one should have to see their twin, their best friend, get buried. No one.

I squeeze my eyes shut, forcing the welling of tears to leave. Grief fills my senses, practically choking me.

I hear the cacophony of sobs and sniffles that emit from the graveyard in front of the church. I gulp, and lick my parched lips. I can't handle it.

I stuff my fingers in my ears, squeezing my eyes tighter together and pressing my elbows against my sides, my breath coming in quick, heavy spurts. I try to calm my frantic heart and the sweat that kneads itself into my skin, but to no avail.

A sob rattles my body, and I can't contain the emotions that flood my body. I choke out a cry, hot tears careening down my cold cheeks. They drip down my chin like a river of mockery, a river showing how fragile I am.

Calm down, Gale, you're fine. You're here.

But I'm not. At least, a part of me isn't. It's gone. My brothers gone and he's taken a piece of me with him.

I slam my hands down besides me, scuffing my palms and leaving a streak of blood in their wake. I stand up heavily, heaving with sobs. I cover my mouth as I stand up on shaking legs, a mixture of salty tears and saliva from my racking sobs encasing my shivering fingers.

I shut my eyes again, feeling the world spin around me. I hit my back against the church wall again, ignoring the flare of pain that traces itself against my spine. No physical pain could match my emotional pain. None.

If only I had done something. Then Seven would still be here.

I shake my head, guilt gnawing my insides. I can still hear my Mom's choked sobs, my Dad's harsh sniffles as they sit at my brother's grave.

I had seen stuff happen before, but I didn't notice it. No. I ignored it. I ignored it because Seven didn't show it bothered him.

--few months prior.--

I trace my pencil against the paper, ignoring the math problem I was supposed to be doing.

I let out a frustrated groan, slamming down the pencil and leaning back in my chair.

A door creaks, and I look up.

My brother, Seven, stands in the doorway, his head lowered so his shaggy black hair covers his tanned face and cerulean eyes.

I quirk up an eyebrow, leaning an elbow on the chair arm. "Hey Ven," I start, rolling my bottom lip between my front teeth. Seven doesn't look up, instead he fiddles with the hem of his coat, blatantly ignoring me. "Are you alright?"

Seven hesitates, and reaches a hand up to wipe at his face. He looks up slightly, and I see the state he's in. Bruised face, bloodied nose, and tired eyes.