Forgive me, please?

2:1

<><><>Adelaide's POV<><><>

The water lurched down my back like a freezing waterfall. My wet hair plastered itself to my face, and strands of it hung over my eyes. I didn't want to move it out of the way. That way I won't have to see the many eyes that were surely glued to me right now.

I can hardly swallow, let alone hold the tears back that are threatening to spill at any moment. I decide to move a few strands away from my eyes, only to meet Gale's cold green eyes.

A weird emotion is written over his face, and he holds the empty water bottle in a clenched hand. He sneers at me, and his eyes sparkle with malice and something else I can't make out.

His lips curl as he growls out the words I knew I would hear. "Didn't I tell you I'd make you pay?"

My lip quivers, and I clench the sleeve of my sweater in a balled up fist.

"You're lucky it's just water." Gale jeers, as if by saying that it makes the situation better.

I'm betrayed by the tears that spill down my cheeks. I wipe them off hastily and run off, feeling my cheeks burn.

I sink into a corner of an empty classroom I find and bury my head in my arms, letting the tears flow freely. I hiccup a few times, before I hear a voice behind me.

"He's such a jerk, don't mind him." I look up to see Sawyer making his way towards me. He sits himself next to me with a look of worry. My face heats up and I lean my head back against the wall, not caring if he sees my tears. After All, tears are just a sign that I am a human with very human emotions. I've never been ashamed of my tears. What's there to be ashamed about? Having feelings? Being able to feel sorrow and accept it without a moments hesitation, being able to show that you understand the complex emotion of sadness?

That's what I tell myself, at least.

Sawyer keeps his eyes trained on me, and I wipe away the tears, focusing on laboring my breathing. "Its my fault." I mutter, sniffling once more and setting my chin on top of my knees, tucking my hands behind my calves.

Sawyer looks flabbergasted, and looks at me with an expression of utmost confusion. "How?" He asks softly, "it was Gale's decision to pour the water on you. Not yours. He should be held accountable for his actions."

He doesn't understand.

I soak in his words, pulling my knees closer to my chest. "Yes but-"

"You didn't make him pour the water on you. He did that all by himself, his cruel self." Sawyer says bitterly, and stares ahead of him.

I can't help but feel a bit angry. Gale was totally right about pouring water on me. I deserved it. After all, I caused what happened to him and his family two years ago.

Just thinking about it makes my stomach lurch. I want to throw up. What I did was so awful. And I told him to forgive and forget when I can't even forgive myself?

I hate myself.

"No. It is my fault." I look over to see Sawyer open his mouth, "don't say it isn't, because it is." I add hurriedly.

Sawyer frowns, his pink lips pouting. "How?"

I don't answer. Instead, I start sobbing. "I- I can't forgive myself," I say in between sobs, "I deserved what I got."

Sawyer scoots closer to me and puts an arm around my shoulders. I lean into him, feeling the warmth of his body close to mine. "What did you do?" He asks, almost uncertainly.

I shake my head, my body still shaking with sobs. I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to think about it.

Tell him, the voice barks, and I nearly jolt. You deserve to be ridiculed. You deserve to be mocked.

Sawyer gets the hint and stays with me for a few minutes, before persuading me to come to class. He offers me his hand and I take it. I can tell my eyes are bloodshot and my cheeks are red and puffy by the way he offers me a pitiful smile.

I don't deserve the pity. Not after what I did those years ago. I don't deserve any pity whatsoever. It just makes me feel more guilty.

I should not be pitied.

I should not be kissed with the sweet relief of silence, but tasked with the anguish of living.

-----
What do you think Adelaide did to make Gale hate her even more? Find out in later chapters!