Till We Ain't Strangers Anymore

CHAPTER FOUR - Better Man

Clutching his artist's portfolio under his arm, Jeremy Gilbert lit up a cigarette, while at the corner of the sidewalk in West 46th Street. He took deep breaths in between puffs, as he tried to calm his nerves. Today seemed to be one of those days when smoking was a necessity. One addiction to replace the half a dozen bad habits that he had managed to quit in the past. That's not so bad. It's not as if he smoked ten packs a day, mind you. He only did it when he's restless, or nervous. Today, he happens to both.

He impatiently looked at this watch. His friend was supposed to meet him there fifteen minutes ago. He closed his eyes and thanked the heavens that patience was presently one of his virtues, as he continued to wait. He happened to glance upon his reflection in the window of one of the buildings nearby. He barely recognized himself, clean-cut, freshly shaven, looking decent in a suit. He was at the end stage of his teenage years, and he really looked like an adult.

How did I get here?

He closed his eyes, as he recalled the bad old days back when he lived in Mystic Falls. Those times when he cursed every damn day of his existence, questioning the reason why he still had bothered to wake up and struggled to get out of bed every morning. Bonnie was dead. The woman he loved, the one who sacrificed her life to bring him back from the dead, was gone. His life was mess. It angered him that the sun had dared to continue to shine, and that the world had the audacity to still turn. It hardly seemed fair. He felt like he was back to square one...back to the time after his parents died. People he loved always ended up leaving him. Same story different verse.

He reverted back to being Jeremy, the rebel stoner...the same way he was during his emo phase, after the deaths of his mom and dad. He used to drive Elena insane, as she tried to keep him in check. Same, only different, because this time around, with most of his family either gone, or stuck outside of Mystic Falls, he had no one to give him any guidance. No Elena to lecture him. No Ric to give him parental advice. No Damon to bail him out of the principal's office. No Bonnie to keep him grounded. No one was around to keep him straight. The ones who didn't die, he just pushed out of his life. He was a rebel...a loser. He wanted to stay that way.

For a while, it was all booze, sex, drugs and parties, not necessarily in that order. He was one talent short from an 'Almost Famous' moment. Who was he kidding? He was no 'golden god'. But he could just as easily drink his weight in alcohol. Not just beer, but also the hard stuff You don't spend that much time with Damon Salvatore, and not learn a thing or two about drunken binges. Oh yeah...he was the life of the party, alright.

He also became more adventurous when it came to sex. He had a short-lived relationship with April Young, but he was just not ready to commit to any woman so soon after Bonnie. It was a bad breakup, with April accusing him that every woman he's ever had a relationship with, he loved them more AFTER they were dead. She said that she wasn't going to compete with ghosts from his past, not anymore. Then she high-tailed it out of town. Although...she could be right. Then again, she could also be crazy.

He did love Vicki, and Anna. He loved them when he was with them, and he loved them when they were gone, but he new that they both had used him in one way or form. Bonnie was different. She was special. She loved him without asking for anything in return. She had always put herself in harm's way in order to protect him or his family. Losing her almost crippled him.

After April, it was one random chick after another. He slept with a different arm candy from every party. He had fucked both Blair and Tina Fell...sometimes both of them at the same time, in several occasions. Who knew that the Fell women was a fan of kink? He had sex with different types of women...cheerleaders, geeks, MILFs, even goths. He didn't discriminate. Anything to distract him from his pain.