The Alpha and I

chapter 10

"Hey girl! So you have been in this house for almost two weeks now and no one has really seen you come out of the room, well besides now" Gwenlyn pauses as I look up from my laundry, she continues on "and Jenna and I were thinking wouldn't it be a great idea to go out and get to know each other? We can go get pizza, I know this great little place where most wolves hang out!" Yeah right, I'm sure Jenna really wants to hang out with me I got the impression she doesn't like me considering every time I came down for meal the girl would practically shoot lasers out of her eyes in an attempt to kill me. "So what do you think?" she asks breaking me out of my train of thoughts. I force a weak smile, I really don't want to go, but this girl isn't going to take no for an answer, plus I could actually use a friend or rather close proximity acquaintance I don't think I'm gonna be here much longer.

"Sure, that sounds great. Do you wanna go in 15?" I reply.

"Make it 30, Jenna loves to take her sweet time getting all dolled up" she laughs. I nod and she runs up the stairs to her room

*****

"Jenna you have 15 seconds to get your ass down here!" Gwenlyn yells. Jenna comes rushing down the staircase not 10 seconds later and stops when she sees me.

"Oh" she says and I smile at her "You know Gwen I don't feel so good, I think I might have to pass." Gwendolyn shrugs and grabs my hand leading me out the door.

It took about 20 minutes to get to the restaurant, it's nice and has really great pizza. But the best part is I don't have to talk much, Gwen does most of it for me. I mostly just have to nod and agree, but I'm glad to have the distraction. Sometimes I start to lose myself when I am locked up for too long without anyone else, and lately, it has been too much like the old days. We finally start back a little after 7 pm, geez we were there for 3 hours. As I get into the car and Gwen pulls out she asks me "so, do you miss it?" I raise an eyebrow at her "your old home? You know, I was lucky that I didn't have to leave everything for some stupid boy." I laugh at her statement.

"Yeah, I guess, I miss it. I more miss the people and not so much the familiarity of home. I miss my aunt the most right now though, she's always such a good problem solver." That reminds me I really need to call her, I wince, Aunt Helene is gonna be pissed I didn't tell her about Tyler and knowing Gar he already let it slip that I moved out.

"Well, maybe I can help?" Gwen says, I turn to her.

"What?" she smiles and nudges me.

"You know with your problem." she winks at me. God damn, why the hell are wolves so kinky or should I say some wolves. I smile remembering that Tipton is her mate.

"Oh, no it's fine, I wasn't really referring to anything in particular." She smiles even wider, I'm sure she knows about the fighting I mean we weren't trying to be quiet and with her hyper hearing.

"Ooookayyyyy! But if you need someone later, I'm your girl" I just nod my head and smile at her again. She pulls into the driveway of the house.

"Hey, Gwen...thank you..for today," I say.

"what are friends for" she gives me a genuine smile this time and nods her head. We both walk into the house and the second we get in Tipton grabs her by the waist and hugs her. He has a huge smile on his face.

"Baby! let me take my shoes off first!" she squeals, but he ignores her and proceeds to kiss her everywhere on the face, she just laughs and pulls him to her lips. I look away and begin to take off my shoes and jacket and that when my ever so loving mate comes stomping down the hallway and surprise surprise he looks pissed off. Great. Without a word, he grabs my arm and drags me down the hall stopping right outside the door of his room.

"I just got back can you give me a damn minute," I say with a huff.

"I told you to stay in the room" he whispers yells at me. Seriously?

"All I did was go get pizza with Gwenlyn," I say "and besides what is the harm? I need an actual friend to talk to, not just your bedroom walls!" What was I doing? Why am I acting like this? Do I really need another fight to add to the damn list, I'm sick of fighting. I break eye contact and walk into the room. Tyler follows right on my heel behind me and turns me to face him.

"I told you I'm working," he says slowly, biting out each word.

"Yet, you felt the need to make me pack up my life and come to your precious pack! Why did you make me come here if you were so engulfed in your work? Just let me go home" I snap. What the fuck was I saying, shut the hell up! I don't want to go home, but I also don't know if I can stay here.

"This is your home," he says. I growl, his eyes narrow at me, challenging me to argue with him. But I don't because the truth is I give up.

"Why do we keep doing this? I'm tired, I don't want to do this anymore" I whisper out the last part, I drop my shoulders and my eyes in defeat. "I've only been here a few weeks and your gone most of the time and the other half is spent on fighting. I don't want this anymore, Tyler." He stares at me, but I just push past him and go into the bedroom. He watches me from the hallway as I get ready to go to bed. I pull back the sheets and lay down with my back turned toward him, he still hasn't moved. I wish he would leave so I could break down now. Of all the ways I had imagined my relationship with my mate, fighting and crying all the time was not it. If I'm being honest, I thought if I told him what happened to me they would reject me, and I could move on with my life, this was clearly not going to be the case either. Finally, Tyler makes a move, he walks and sits on the bed, closing the door behind him.

"Is that really how you feel?" I don't say anything, he sighs "I'm going to start trying harder, this isn't what I wanted Ashley, I need you to know that" he gets up.

"Why did you leave?" I whisper

"What" he asks, but I know he heard me.

"I needed you to stay and you left, twice. I've never told anyone what happened to me and you just left like it was nothing. I needed you." I sit up and rest my head against the headboard and look him straight in the eye.

"I'm sorry" he looks defeated, but I just shake my head.

"Why Tyler?" he looks ashamed.

"At first I was angry. At the world, at the moon, at the kidnappers, at myself. I spent half that day cursing out the moon goddess about what you told me and then the other half was spent feeling guilty because that meant I wasn't accepting my life with you. I couldn't understand why the moon goddess could allow that to happen to my mate, who I am supposed to love. It's like some sick joke, I am supposed to protect you but before I even had the chance to meet you the damage had been done. And to some extent, I think I secretly wished that I wasn't mated to you, which made me feel ashamed in myself because you are a gift given to me by the goddess. But when you offered yourself up for rejection, I became angry with you that you could doubt what you were and that I needed you. I realized then I didn't give a damn what had happened, you were mine and nothing was going to stop me from having you. You were mine to protect and love and it was actually you who is forsaken with such a sad excuse for a mate."