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DANI IS A VERY EMOTIONAL PERSON. pelle knew this from the moment he saw her, saw her smile. she had such a wide capacity for emotion. she could look in someone's eyes and see what they were feeling, and she would feel it right there with them. pelle saw this, and it broke him knowing that christian was sucking her dry - literally and figuratively.
dani and christian's sad sex life was no secret to pelle. how could it not? christian complained about it all the time. "she's never really wet, you know?" he'd say. "she fakes, like, every orgasm. it's obvious, dude. i think she's... barren. is that the word?"
it wasn't.
another thing pelle didn't like about americans was how they viewed sex. american sex was ruthless. quick. get it over with so we can both get what we want - either an orgasm or a kid.
sex was supposed to be beautiful. gentle and kind, like milk and honey. it was supposed to be love, and it was what made life. how could it be so cruel?
whatever made dani feel like she couldn't truly orgasm, pelle concluded, was christian's fault.
but back to what i was saying before. dani is a very emotional person. she felt things stronger than anyone ever could, and the look on her face at any given moment could say so many different things. pelle would read her face like a book. like the book.
pelle listened intently as christian talked to dani over the phone. "she does this every other day, dani. and only because you let her." silence - save mark jesting loudly, trying to distract their conversation. or mark just being mark. pelle wasn't sorry that he was going to be killed. "i know, but you do though, babes. you go straight into crisis mode." pelle scratched his neck nervously. "okay, but is it, though? it's still another clear ploy for attention. just like every other panic attack she's given you." pelle's heart pang with hurt. who was making dani feel this way? and why was christian treating it like it shouldn't matter? "the more you respond, the more she's encouraged to keep this crap up."
pelle said nothing as christian lazily said his goodbyes to dani, promising her that he'd see her later. christian obviously didn't see how truly empathetic dani was. or maybe he did, and he thought it was a bad thing. that's decidedly worse.
"dude, you need to stop sitting on the fence with this," mark lectured. pelle drew flowers on his napkin. i'll never understand these stupid english sayings, pelle hypothesized.
"but what if i end up regretting it and then i can't get her back?"
"you don't want her back!"
"i might!"
"so then you can bitch to us for that day about how much you regret it, and we'll remind you again that you've been wanting out of this stupid relationship for the last year, and then you can find some new chick who actually likes sex and doesn't drag you through a million hoops a day."
christian remained silent. josh, who'd been understandably quiet, dog-eared his book. "do you think a masochistic part of you might be playing out this drama to distract you from the work you actually need to be doing?" masochistic, pelle thought. that's an interesting word.
christian was now irritated. "and what work do i actually need to do, josh?"
"your prospectus, maybe? your phd?" josh muttered. his academic ambition never ceased to amaze pelle.
their waitress sauntered over to the table, putting down the check. "whenever you're ready," she said.
"thank you," pelle smiled. he watched as the waitress made eye contact with christian, blatantly flirting with him. and christian was liking it.
the waitress walked away. mark frowned. "dude. you could be getting that girl pregnant right now."
"and don't forget all the swedish women you can impregnate in june," pelle offered. they took it as a joke - but he was being serious.
"yeah, dude - don't forget about all the swedish milkmaids," mark said. christian's phone rang, halting any conversation they had. "that's not her again? seriously?" mark said boisterously. christian let the call go to voicemail, worrying pelle. that was the second time she's called in an hour. is something wrong? is she okay? why won't christian answer? christian has to answer. "that's ridiculous, dude. she needs a therapist."
"she has one."
pelle went lost in thought as mark continued to berate christian - and, in a way, dani.
christian's phone rang again. he stood a few feet away from the booth for privacy, but pelle could still hear dani's gut-wrenching moans from the other line. it shot through his heart like a spear. his first instinct was to leave the pizza parlor entirely, go to dani's apartment (which he'd only gone to once or twice before) and moan with her, cry with her, ensure her that she wasn't alone.
pelle knew exactly what dani felt. he could hear it in her screams. they were ones of anguish, the ones that you let out when you think no one is around to silence you. when you think you are alone.
dani just lost someone. or multiple people. either way, dani was alone.
and now, it was up to pelle to make sure that some day, she'd never feel like that again.
