Finally, a lot of things affected my life now because of what happened to me when I was little. Nobody helped me when I needed them I wasn't given help they said I was going to get the help I needed. Now I feel like I'm not worth dating and I never had thought I would have someone that loved me for who I am and even with my bad past they still loved me. I do love everyone but at times i just want to run away and never come back thats how i felt for a long time and for most of my life. Sometimes I just can’t handle it and I just want to end it all so I can feel the relief and the joy of being free. But there is things that stop me from doing that they are my kids aka my moms boyfriends kids. But I think without them I don’t think I would be here without them. When I think about my future I think will I be someone who is successful or will i be a loser. What will I be like when im older. Im 17 years old with a diff outlook on life and a life with kids running around everywhere. My life isnt what people think or what they expect that my life is. When they look at me they see a girl who is sweet, nice, cute, funny but really I am a girl that has had a rough life and has problems that may or may not be solved yet. I just need someone to help me get through this and help me not do the worst. People don't see the real me all they see is a girl nothing more than that. Im 17 and I have so many issues that god can't even help with now because i have a so many. Nobody can love me because they can't trust me they can’t love me enough not to beat me. They don't care enough to care for me the right way, all they care about is getting other kids the help they need but not me I'm left in the dust not to be loved, seen, noticed, nothing I’m left to fend for myself. Being 17 and trying to get your life straight isnt easy and it harder if you have nobody to care, love, cherish you and help you through it all. But for me I have nobody to love, cherish, care about me I'm helpless and I'm nothing to nobody. Im just a girl you can throw away and she’ll never stop loving but if you leave her she’ll love you but hate you. Im just a piece of trash you can just toss away and to never be seen from again. 17 and having to deal with all this is not a good thing. Im supposed to be living life to the fullest but instead I'm living in fear of getting hurt and never loved. Why can’t People see what I’ve went through and try and help me when i need them. But nobody steps up to the plate and tries and help me when I am down.
