Actual Me

Chapter Five

My alarm rings, way too loud, for this early in the morning. It's Tuesday and I feel like skipping school, but I know my mom wouldn't like that, so I get out of bed and get ready.

I'm wearing black ripped jeans, a black shirt that is slightly cropped, a ripped black jean jacket (the same one I wore yesterday), and black shiny boots.

I head to school, still using my phone, for directions, sadly I still don't remember how to get to school. I park in the same spot I parked in yesterday, which is at the back end of the parking lot.

I enter school and head straight to the locker, hoping to not see Becca. Thank god she's not here. I get dressed, then head to the gym.
It was the usual, Becca getting groped, and me being disgusted.

A couple of hours later, I get to art and decide to sit across from Jax, except in opposite seats from yesterday. "Hey, Jax" He looks at me confused as if he expected me to be mad.

I'm not the kind of person who holds grudges, so I'm not mad or anything, I'm just embarrassed.

"Hey... Scar," he sounded embarrassed or shy... maybe he's embarrassed too. But I don't know why he would be.

"Sorry for the other night. I'm not really the kind that just hangs out with someone, so it threw them off,"

"Ya... I don't normally have friends so I'm not good in situations like that,"

"I want to be your friend just no one seems to understand that I just want to be your friend, because I normally just go around fucking everyone and say they are my friend. But I think it's about time for me to have an actual friend, "

The class begins and the teacher just explains that we have to draw something that relates to faith. What the hell? How am I supposed to draw faith if I don't have any?

Everyone in the class looks just as confused. I raise my hand and ask, "How am I supposed to draw faith if I don't believe in it or have it?"

He looks at me for a minute and says, "Everyone has some sort of faith, but if you don't have any you can represent what you think of faith, not necessarily what faith is, but what it is to you,"

God, I hate art teachers they act so hippie-like when in reality they are just teachers who were at the lowest of their class who took yoga classes and had zen sessions.

I stare at my paper for a while trying to think of what to draw. After a couple more minutes I give up and ask Jax, "So are you going bowling later tonight, with Evelyn?"