A/N: this isn't proof read so sorry for any mistakes! also TRIGGER WARNING FOR SUICIDE!!
"Goodbye Hajime."
The words rang through Iwaizumi's head as he sprinted to Oikawa's house. He didn't care how tired he was, how much it hurt, he kept running because if he even slowed down just a little bit, things could go horribly wrong.
At first the words may seem like they don't mean much: it's just a simple goodbye on the way home from school. But here's the thing, Oikawa never says goodbye. It's always a, "Goodnight!" or a "See you tomorrow!" Never goodbye. Because goodbye means the end and Oikawa was never fond of things ending.
And another thing, Oikawa never called him "Hajime". It was always that dumb ass nick name that he's been stuck with since they were little kids.
"Good morning, Iwa-chan!"
"How are you today, Iwa-chan?"
"You're so mean, Iwa-chan!"
The hot tears in Iwaizumi's eyes spilled over and down his cheeks as he came upon Oikawa's house. He didn't even bother knocking on the door, he walked right in, running straight to Oikawa's room. When he bursted into his bedroom, Oikawa jumped up from his desk.
He was writing in a notebook but he quickly shut it. "Iwa-chan, you scared me! What are you doing here?" He said, clutching his chest.
Iwaizumi ignored him and immediately walked over to see what he was writing, Oikawa grabbed his notebook when he realized what he was doing. Iwaizumi gave him a stern look and held out his hand.
"Let me see, Oikawa."
He shook his head. "No, it's my business. You need to go home, don't you have a math test tomorrow? You should really be studying for-"
"Drop the fucking test, dumbass! Now give me the damn notebook!" Oikawa flinched, but gave in and slowly stuck out his arm. Iwaizumi snatched the notebook from his hands and flipped through the pages.
His blood went cold when he realized what he was staring at.
It was a collection of suicide letters.
"Tooru, what the hell is this." He said in a low voice, he was afraid that if he raised his voice, it would break.
"Isn't it obvious." He said with a small laugh, a forced laugh.
Iwaizumi threw the notebook on the floor and immediately wrapped his arms around Oikawa. He stiffened at the contact, his breath hitched. "Iwa-chan?"
"Why Oikawa?! Tell me!"
Oikawa returned the hug and broke down in his arms. "I'm sorry! I just couldn't handle it anymore!"
Iwaizumi held onto Oikawa tightly, fearing that if he loosened his grip for even a second, Oikawa would disappear.
Oikawa pulled away just enough to look Iwaizumi in the eyes. "I'm so sorry I made you worry, I just... I just wanted it to end."
"Wanted what to end, Tooru?" Iwaizumi brought his hands up to wipe the tears falling from Oikawa's eyes. He smiled sadly at his best friend.
"Everything."
Iwaizumi didn't understand, he just stood there, staring with a confused look on his face. Oikawa kept talking before he could ask what he meant.
"Everyday, I wake up and I get ready, knowing that today won't be any different from yesterday. It's all the same. Same boring classes, same worthless conversations, same meaningless practice-"
"Wait, hold up, meaningless? You've gotta be kidding me! Are you stupid?!" Iwaizumi suddenly snaps, taking his hands off of Oikawa's face and crossing them across his own chest.
"Iwa-chan! That's mean!" He ignores Oikawa's whining and keeps scolding him.
"You worked into the ungodly hours of the night, practicing your serves. You jumped until you injured your fucking knee! You hurt yourself! We made it this far because of you're amazing abilities, you were a great captain."
"Yeah, I'm such a good captain, I couldn't even get my team to nationals! Not even once! Ana just when I think 'Yes! This is our chance!', it gets taken away from me by some pathetic school!"
Hajime tensed up at the mention of their last game. He knew that Oikawa blamed himself for the loss, even if he didn't say it out loud, Oikawa is the type to take responsibility.
"We fought as hard as we could that day, they were just stronger. It doesn't matter anymore, Tooru."
Oikawa looked deeply hurt by that last statement and Iwaizumi couldn't figure out why. "It does matter you asshole!"
Hajime was taken aback. It wasnt like Oikawa to snap at him like this.
"God, why do you have to be so dense?! I worked hard because of you! I wanted to get you to nationals so badly, Hajime! I wanted to be able to set to you under the lights of that huge gym. I did all of this for you-" Oikawa was crying again, this time he didnt clutch on to Iwaizumi, he just dropped to his knees.
Oikawa felt sick. He wanted to vomit and scream. The silence was unbearable for him, he just wanted to tear his hair out. I wanted to run all the way to school just to serve until his knees gave out again.
"Please go home, Hajime. I'll be fine, I won't do anything." He promised in a broken voice.
"I don't think I can trust you anymore, Tooru."
And that one sentence alone hurt more than anything Oikawa had felt in his entire life. Losing to Karasuno couldn't even compare to that 9 word statement.
All that trust that they had built up, gone. Just like that, and Oikawa, like always, blamed himself for that one too.
Iwaizumi ended up leaving after Oikawa's mom got home, he didn't explain anything to her, he only offered her a small bow and walked out the door.
Oikawa smiled when he looked out the window and saw Iwaizumi walking on the sidewalk, heading back home. He would most likely curl up in his warm blankets and drift off into a peaceful sleep, while Oikawa sobbed into his pillows until his throat was raw and his eyes burned like hell.
Later that night, when everyone in the Oikawa house was sound asleep, Tooru made his way to his closet, he slowly opened the door and felt his stomach flip when he saw the rope hanging from the railing. It was tied perfectly, because it was Tooru. He was gonna make sure that it worked.
He stepped into the closet, feeling strangely at ease when he shut himself in He then pressed his forehead against the closet door and smiled a final time.
"Goodbye, Hajime."
