Set Me Free

Chapter 4

It was 11:00 a.m. Sunday morning when I woke up. I was supposed to go to church but everyone had already left. It feels like this whole house has turned on me and acted as if I wasn't even apart of the family. I got out of the bed and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. I heard my phone ringing, so I ran to my room to see who it was, and it was Shawn. I wonder what he wants, damn I cant even wake up good without someone calling me.
"Yeah Shawn."
"I'm outside."
"You're what?"
"Outside, on your porch. Open the door."
I hung up the phone and ran to the front door and opened it. Shawn walked in and smiled at me. He looked around the house then headed to my room. Shawn sat at the edge of my bed, turned on the tv and called me over. I can tell by the look in his eyes and smile on his face that he wanted to do something. He wanted to do something sexual. After what happened yesterday, I really don't want to have sex with Shawn, but then again I do. Shawn already knows about what my dad did to me the other night so I don't see why he would want to do this with me.
"I want you to have sex with me."
"I know you do, I can tell. But I don't really want to."
"Well I really want to. I want you to forget about what happened the other night. I want you to only be having sex with me and I want to do this."
"Well I don't know. I'm kind of iffy about this."
Shawn pulled me to him and rolled me over so that he could be on top of me. He started kissing on my neck and rubbing my thighs. This turned me on and made me feign for more and more. I want to have sex with Shawn. He pulled off his pants and I took off my clothes. Me and Shawn were having sex, and it was unprotected...
About and hour later, we were done. Shawn put on his clothes and so did I. I cant believe I had unprotected sex once again. You need to stop, you should stop. My mind was telling me repeatedly. I already know that I shouldn't have let Shawn do it but It's like I'm drawn to him every time I don't want to be and shouldn't be. Me and Shawn cuddled in the bed and watched tv afterwards. We didn't talk about what we did, we never talk about how the sex was after we do it. I looked over and saw that Shawn was beginning to fall asleep. Damn I put this nigga to sleep, it must have been that good. I laughed at myself for saying that aloud, but it was true. I eased up slowly off of the bed so that I wouldn't wake Shawn up. I walked over to my closet and grabbed some blankets and covered Shawn up with them. I left my room and went to the kitchen. I was starving, I hardly ate last night and I didn't eat this morning. I opened the refrigerator and saw left over chicken from lastnight. I cant trust this family, so I wont be eating shit they cooked. Nothing was in the freezer, and I aint finna cook none.
"Shawn, you up?" I yelled back to the room because I didn't feel like walking back there. He didn't respond. So he must be sleep. I slid on my flip-flops by the front door and went to my car. I was going to head to McDonalds to order me and Shawn something to eat. All I eat is Mcdonalds so if I'm getting me and someone else something to eat then it's going to be Mcdonalds. I arrived at Mcdonalds around 12:55 and it was crowded. The drive thru line was wrapped around the building and the line was long in the inside. I waited in the drive thru line for about 15 minutes before I could actually order. I got to the speaker and ordered the food. After I got my food, it was almost 1:30. I hurried home before Shawn woke up, I didn't want him to think I had left him alone. When I arrived home, there were 3 police cars outside and mom, dad and Amber were back. What the hell is going on? I wondered. I grabbed the food and ran to the house. When I opened the door, Shawn was in the living room handcuffed. He had a black eye and a bloody nose.
"Don't you ever show your face again at my damn house!"
"Calm down Mr. Hines!"
"What's going on? Why is Shawn in handcuffs?"
"Ari, Shawn and dad were fighting, Shawn was trying to kill dad."
"That's not what happened Ari, please." Shawn sobbed.
"I believe you Shawn, I know you better than that."
"You don't know what type of boyfriend you're dealing with, he tried to kill me baby."
"I don't know what type of father I'm dealing with, is what I don't know."
"Okay Ari, that's enough." Mom said to me, rubbing my shoulder.
I pushed her away from me and watched them take Shawn away. This was ridiculous and I didn't believe any bit of it. Dad slammed the door behind the police and turned around and looked at all of us. He was furious and he looked as if he wanted to hit us all. I was speechless, I needed answers.
"So someone tell me the truth on what really went on."
"We were walking in the house and Shawn thought it was you, so he was calling your name. I went to your room and opened the door. It smelled straight like sex in there, so I asked him have ya'll been having sex. He said to me that the smell was from me and you lastnight. I told him to get out of my house in a calm voice and he got up and punched me in the face, that's why I have this knot here. Then he..."
"Really!? Shawn would never do that and I don't believe this at all."
"I don't know what's gotten into you, you used to be a much better sister than this."
"Imma need for you to shut the fuck up!"
"Hey! Hey!" Dad yelled at me and slapped me in my face so hard, that it began to burn. I fell to the ground and looked at him, I know he saw the hurt he has caused in my eyes. Everyone just stood there and allowed him to hit me. They didn't even stop him, or even help me up. They all just looked down at me while I was lying there in pain and tears. I thought family was supposed to be about love and spending time together. Seems like I cant even trust my own family or try to love them.
Two weeks flew by and everything was still the same, except that the whole school knows about what happened with Shawn. There's been rumors going around school saying, Shawn tried to rape Ari and got beat up by her dad. Ari's dad raped her and Shawn was defending her and he got shot. All of these were lies, lies, lies. I wonder who told them these rumors. I called my best friend Chanel to see if she knows anything about these rumors.
"Hey Chanel, you know anything about these school rumors?"
"Umm.. I have know idea about anything you're talking about."
"Wow Really..I thought everyone knew, I'm sure somebody said some to you about me, Shawn or my dad."
"Ohh Yeahhhh...Some girls came up to me and said that my best friend was a hoe for having a threesome with her dad and boyfriend."
"What the fuck! What did you say back?"
"I told them what had actually went on."
"What? Why the fuck are you telling my business.?"
"So that they wont be telling lies."
"Damnn Chanel. You could of said some else without telling my personal information."
I hung up in Chanel's face and threw my phone on my bed. Life isn't going good for me. My boyfriend is in jail and I feel like I'm in hell. Out of nowhere, my stomach started cramping. I went to the bathroom to check my panties to see if I had started my cycle. When I looked in my panties, there was no blood. That's impossible. It's May 5 and I was supposed to start on the 2nd. This is bad because I know that I had unprotected sex with Shawn. I hurried to my room and put on some clothes. I ran out the house without even telling anyone where I was going. I hopped in my jeep and sped to Walmart to buy a pregnancy test. I was anxious and nervous to see the results. I got the pregnancy test and stood in the long line of Walmart and purchased the item.
I drove home as fast as possible and rushed into the house. I ran to the bathroom and peed in a cup. I sat the cup on the counter and opened the pregnancy test. My hands were shaking and my heart was beating fast. The directions said to put 3 full drops of pee into the stick. So I did. If two lines were shown then I wasn't pregnant and If one line showed then I was. My heart was racing and my head was hurting. I am extremely nervous. I sat the stick down because I didn't want to look at it any longer. I waited for a minute and then slowly picked up the stick. My mouth dropped. My eyes waterd. The stick read one line. I was pregnant. Pregnant by Shawn. I bursted into tears and dropped down to the clean, bathroom floor.
And then I remembered, I also had unprotected sex with my dad the night before. Omg! What if my dad was the father and not Shawn. That would be horrible. I don't know what to do. I don't even know what to feel anymore. Fuck my life! My dad could be the father of my baby, I hate myself.