I sat upright in bed and looked at the time, only three hours left until school. I started to panic, I wanted to look and feel beautiful so he would notice me. I hopped out of bed and hobbled through to the bathroom and shut the door. I grabbed the side and stepped in the shower, I turned on the water and stuck my arm in until it was warm.
My hair was in loose curls, my makeup was soft peachy pinky colours and clothes a top with his favourite band on and some ripped black jeans. I still felt ugly. Fat. I will never be beautiful. Holding back the tears I walked out the door. A faint bye I love you echoed as I shut and locked the door.
At school I had my headphones in with his favourite song playing, he walked past and said a friendly Hi I smiled back and he walked off. He was popular I wasn't, he was good looking I wasn't, I don't blame him for not liking me, I don't. Katie came and sat down next to me.
"What's Wrong?"
"Nothing, I'm fine"
"Movies round mine tonight, we'll sort this out"
I nodded, I could do without it but I didn't want to lose my only friend, she has been there for me since I found out about my mental disorders. Everybody else left me.
Wierd. Stupid. Pathetic. Waste of fresh air. Is that all I was to them...
I gave up half way through school Katie had different lessons all day and our breaks were at different times. A day without her is like hell. Everyone else is hells devils apart from Lucas.
At lunch I couldn't eat, instead I went into the toilets and cried, nobody understands what it's like they, all want me dead. I breathed loudly and heard a voice.
"Hello, are you okay?"
Him.
I unlocked the door and walked outside, my mascara had run and my face was blotchy. I stepped outside the girls toilets and saw a single solitary shadow.
He was still there.
I walked outside with my head down.
"Are you okay"
This was already the longest convocation we had ever had.
"No"
I replied in a whisper. He stepped closer and pulled me towards him. We hugged. I could smell the soft scent of his aftershave. As we pulled apart I felt a warm liquid on my face, tears.
"Tell me" he said.
I broke down and told him everything. The bullying, the depression, how I hated myself. For the first time someone was listening.
"I'm here for you"
He leant forward and kissed me.
