A Photo Of John

Chapter 10

John reluctantly entered the room, only to see Sherlock lying back in his bed, looking as pale as ever. John's stomach dropped. What the hell was he supposed to say? A voice inside of him piped up

" Well John, why don't you ask him how he is? He had a heart attack for f***s sake!"

" His answer is obvious, Sherlock hates stupid questions"

" Fine, have fun with your own "brilliant" ideas for icebreakers."

The voice was gone. John couldn't think of a thing to say. Sherlock looked horrible, pale and ragged. He looked like he needed more sleep which is even scarier because he'd been sleeping for 3 days. John's eyes watered. He felt a little off balance and sat down in a chair next to the bed. He put his head in his hands.

" It's all my fault."

Sherlock's POV

This answer surprised Sherlock. He expected John to scream at him but... was he... he was crying! He wanted to comfort John but he didn't want to be pushed away.

" It is your fault John, but you have no reason to blame yourself."

John stood up, suddenly angry.

" What the hell does that even mean?!"

" It means that you're the reason I attempted suicide, but you had no fault . Do not blame yourself."

John slumped back down.

" You're an idiot, you know that right?"

Sherlock sighed, exasperated.

" John, I don't like repeating myself, especially when it comes to my recent idiocy. You read the letter, you can figure it out."

" How are you feeling?"

" Honestly?"

"Yes."

" Terrible."

John stood up. He walked over to the morphine tubes, there was nothing running through them.

" Sherlock, did you turn the morphine off?"

" Yes. Don't touch it."

" ...why?"

"Pain serves as a good distraction."

"From?"

"You."

...

" How could you assume that I didn't...return...your feelings if you never asked?"

Oh here we go. Time for sentiment. Sherlock knew this was coming.

" I observed."

" Well you were wrong."

" I...you..." Sherlock's face blushed pink.

"Yes."

"Oh."

They sat in this strange silence, Sherlock's face sheepishly turned away.

" You know, it's weird... in my entire life I have never found another man attractive..."

Sherlock turned his face back and grinned.

" You find me...attractive?"

John narrowed his eyes and smirked.

" Don't act like you don't know. You use your looks to get what you want from women. Which is usually a fresh limb."

Sherlock laughed but then his face turned down a bit at the corners