The Bucket List

23

Nausea pours over me as soon as i gain consciousness. Opening my eyes i look around the room, my vision coming to before any of my other senses.

Hearing is next, the familiar sound of the heart monitor filling my ears, only making my headache worse. "Nurse!" I call out, my voice cracking horribly.

Immediately a tall skinny woman runs in, wearing the usual nurses outfit, "Yes, Miss. Lim?" "I need some nausea medicine before i soil the bed." I barely make the words out before covering my mouth.

"Be right back- just try to hold it in." She sounds calm bit i can tell she isn't by the way she runs out. I try to sit up, but a paralyzingly sharp pain screams in my lower abdomen area.

I let out an involuntary screech, the pain being so strong that i can't move. Warm tears stream down my cheeks as i lay still in the bed, praying that the pain will stop.

"Vernia," His familiar voice enters the room as he rushes to put something in my IV with a needle, "I'm sorry hun." I shake my head squeezing my eyes, "It's okay Lee."

After a few long seconds, my body relaxes and i take a deep breath, "Three weeks you say?" "Im afraid so."

~

Hope😍:

Okay Sunshine, i hope everything goes great! Ill pray for you, call me as soon as your able to.

Me:

Im awake 🖤

I message Hoseok as soon as im able to get ahold of my phone, in the end having Lee hand it to me. I don't expect an answer from him right away so i send Carol a message also.

Me:

Hey CC, im done now.

Carol💮:

How do you feel?!

Do you need me to bring you anything??

The doctors didn't try anything funny with you right? Because i just watched a movie about a girl that was raped during surgery!

Me:

Wow.

Well im doing horrible- but no nobody raped me. I would probably die remember?

Carol💮:

Well yeah, but you've also been healing. But im glad!!

Me:

Yeah thanks.

Carol💮:

Anything from Hoseok?

Me:

No, but he might be at a concert or something right now.

Carol 💮:

True.

Do you want me and Gookie to come over and visit you?

Me:

I think it'd be better if i took a LOOOONG and overcompensated nap.

Im actually in a lot of pain🤧

Carol💮:

Okay, sweetie!

Sweet dreams!

Text me whenever you want me to come over!

Me:

Okay CC, give Gookie a big hug for me! 🥰

Of course, right after i send the message i have my nurse plug my phone in so i can relax, though only being able to lay on my bed in one position is not very comfortable.

I sit looking around the small baby blue room, paying attention to the details more than i probably should. To my left is a wide window that overlooks the city of Seoul, the tall buildings seeming closer than before.

My IV and all my machines are on the left side also. To my right is pretty plain besides a small counter with a sink.

The right wall is closer to me, because there is a small hall way to keep a small restroom in here, even though i won't be able to use if for the first week.

I look around at the different details of the room, eventually  landing on the flat screen on the opposite wall from me. It sits high up so that even laying down, i can see it.

It's off right now of course, and thankfully my nurse- who sits in the corner at all times to monitor me- also turned off the light. I have to admit, it's a bit creepy for a random nurse to be staring at me constantly, but i also feel safe.

Closing my eyes i focus on taking deep breaths and clearing my mind so i can fall asleep. Thankfully, this starts to work, but for a while i feel like im half asleep- the idea of being in a hospital never helped my sleep.

~

I must've fallen asleep, because soon im waking up in the middle of the night in pain. Crying i snap my fingers, trying to get my nurses attention.

Thankfully she gets the message and runs to me, injecting something in my IV tube. The fiery pain spreads up my lower abdomen- clearly coming from my uterus.

The pain is so intense i can hear my heart monitor beeping faster by the second. I feel like im awake during the operation, every nerve in my stomach screaming at me.

I clench my jaw together, trying to refrain from screaming anymore. As soon as the pain stops, my whole body relaxes again, "Thank you so much." I let out soft sobs still coming down from the pain.

"I'll get you more liquids." She pats my arm gently before walking out to fetch the bag of liquids. As soon as she leaves i let out a frustrated scream.

My hands make their way to my face and up to my hair, grabbing chucks of it irritatedly. I have to remind myself that it's all going to be worth it in the end, Hoseok will never have to know and we'll be able to be normal.

Being normal is all i want.

Even if we've only been official for two weeks, i know that he'll eventually want to do some more intimate things, and he'll definitely want to have kids.

Is it too early for me to know that he's the love of my life?

I mean- Romeo and Juliet met, fell in love, married, and died for each other all within the span of four days! Why can't i decide i want to be with him forever after two months?

In the end this'll be worth it to give him everything.