The Bucket List

26

After a while, we end up changing our positions, laying underneath the covers this time cuddling as we catch up a bit on things we didn't get to say over the phone.

We mostly talk about America and the hospital, our experiences being completely different. He tells about the amazing food he had, the room service, the difference sights he saw.

And then i tell him about what it's like to shit out your stomach. "What was the procedure for again?" He asks as we both chuckle at our completely different last few weeks.

"Uhm," i sigh eating a scoop of ice cream, "Just to ya know, get rid of the cells that carried to recessive gene- which worked for the most part! Im down to a fifty-fifty chance."

I can see him smile happily, but he also seems a bit disappointed and it breaks my heart, "What's wrong baby?" I picked up the nickname after jokingly calling him it once, only to find that he loved it.

It's a bit basic for my taste, but if he loves it then i love it too!

"I just don't understand why you won't tell me what's wrong," he keeps his eyes on me but i look down, "I know its a sensitive subject, but I'm your boyfriend and i want to know everything about you."

"I know, i know," i sigh settings my ice cream down to grab his hands, "I just don't want you to see me any different, okay? I just want to be normal."

"But you're not normal," he sighs, "And that's okay, Sunshine. I just want to know what's wrong with my babygirl." He cups my face and i pout, "I'm- im just afraid."
P
"Sunshine, what are you afraid of?" His voice is full of concern- his face mirroring both his and my own emotions. "Losing you."

"What makes you think you'd ever lose me?" "If i get worse," i sigh, "It'll make a lot of things complicated and i don't want you to have the same thought process i do. I just want to be in a normal relationship with the man I'm in love with."

Saying it out loud feels really different from when it was just in my mind- I've never said love to him before- and now that it's out and feels so amazing- i kind of feel guilty.

A part of me wishes i had told him earlier, another part fears that he'll think it's too early still. I look down, taking my face from his hands as mine fiddle in my lap.

He stays quiet, not saying anything- i can't even hear his breathes. I squeeze my eyes shut before getting up, moving to the kitchen, "W-when do you have to go back?"

I wipe my cheeks as tears sneak down them trying to make it stop, but nothing works. I open the fridge and search for something to drink, not being in the mood right now for water.

Again he doesn't answer.

I try to ignore the fact that he's so quiet, terrified of what that means for his feelings.

What if he doesn't love me back and i was wrong?

When i realize there's nothing for me in the fridge, i give up my search, closing the door. As soon as i turn  around, im being pressed up against the cold fridge.

He hands go to my waist and head holding me so close to him i fear I'll stay glued to his chest. His lips catch mine in an intense and passionate kiss, making my heart skip a beat.

My arms soon make their way to his neck to secure his lips on mine, not wanting this moment to ever end. The way he kisses me is similar to the way he did in my nightmares, except now i can feel his whole heart going into it as if it's our last goodbye.

Sadly, being human means you need oxygen to breath- forcing me to pulls away from him. Or rather push him away slightly to catch my breath.

His forehead lands on mine as our heavy breaths fall over the room. "I love you." Leaning back, my eyes jump up to meet his, completely taken back by those three words.

"I love your hair. I love your laugh. I love your smile," he takes a deep breath, "I even love the way you drink milkshakes as if you're a food critic- always taking a hundred small sips with breaks in between instead of one large gulp-"

He stops before cupping my face, "Sunshine why are you crying?" I hadn't really realized what was happening, all i know is that this is too much for me to handle.

I try to hold them back, but the small sobs escape my mouth along with small laughs, "I'm just really happy right now," he seems to calm a bit with my answer, "I love you too."

Suddenly he lifts me up, wrapping my legs around him as he carries me to the bedroom. I cling to him like a baby koala cub, but he doesn't seem to mind.

Once we get there he somehow finds a way to lay down with me, still cuddling into him. "I think you need some rest my love," He runs a hand through my hair which makes me extremely tired and relaxed, "You've been through a tough few weeks."

"You too, baby." I shift to lay my head on his chest and he hums in contentment. "Goodnight Sunshine." I smile at the sound of his voice as he turns off the lamp. "Goodnight Hopey."

~

"Sunshine~" he coos, his raspy voice making my heart sing immediately. "Baby girl," he continues, "My love~" I try to ignore him, too tired to want to get up right now.

This doesn't seem to matter to him since he's crawling over me to place kisses all over my face, making me giggle.

"Time to get up sunshine." He chuckles before continuing to shower me in kisses. "Why?" I groan letting out another small laugh causing him to stop and my eyes open to meet his.

"Happy one month Sunshine." He smiles giddily but my eyes widen, "Oh my god- already?" He only laughs at my question before pecking my lips, "Now get up and get ready! We're going somewhere."

"Where?" I sit up as he crawls off the bed shrugging, "That's for me to know," he smirks, "And for you to find out."  Now that he's standing up, i can see that he's dressed and has his hair styled.

Sighing i slide off the side of the bed, "I'll be ready in fifteen minutes." I run a hand through my hair, making my way to the restroom. "I'll get breakfast started."

I can practically hear him skipping to the kitchen, a spring in every step he takes. Rolling my eyes i shut the restroom door.

~

Walking into the kitchen, i can see him working on frying something, his back to me. Quietly, i make my way over to him, wrapping my arms around his waist.

"Hey Sunshine," he coos resting a hand over mine, "I thought you'd like spam and rice." "Mmm," i hum in contentment, "I remember Nanny would trade me lunches when i was little- she always had rice and spam."

"Didn't she live with you?" He plates the spam, "How'd she have different lunches than you?" He turns off the stove and opens a pot, stirring the rice that looks perfectly cooked.

"My parents had given her the guest house and stocked it with everything she needed," i sigh, "Them being cheap, they gave her very little and only about four different kinds of food. So when i was about five, i saw her eating spam and i was curious because i had never tried spam.

I offered to trade and she agreed. Thus starting my long love for the canned meat." Chuckling he turns to face me, "You really love Nanny huh?"

I don't hesitate to nod, "She was there for me when my parents considered giving me up for adoption. She said she wouldn't let them take me from her. I don't know how she did it, but she talked them out of it."

"Why didn't she adopt you?" "Long story," i grab a plate, "This looks great, Hopey." "Thank you." He smiles grabbing a plate for himself, letting me get food before him though.

When im done, i sit at the kitchen table, Hoseok following shortly behind me. "Hurry and eat so we can leave," he takes a big bite but continues talking, "We have a busy day ahead of us."

"Okay." I giggle shoving the food in my mouth, eager to know what he has in store for our one month anniversary.