Never Forget You

Loss and Gain

I ran into the recovery room as fast as I could only to see a tiny little body, eyes closed, endless cords and wires attatched to Alena.

I slowly walked over to her, tears streaming down my face, breathing heavily. I took her small, yet strong hand in mine and began to sing to her:

This is a story that I've never told

I've gotta get this off my chest to let it go

I need to take back the light inside you stole

you're a criminal

and you steal like you're a pro

All the pain and the truth

I wear like a battle wound

so ashamed, so confused

I was broken and bruised

Now I'm a warrior

I've got thicker skin

I'm a warrior

I'm stronger than I've ever been

and my armour, is made of steel, you can't get in

I'm a warrior

and you can never hurt me again

Out of the ashes

I'm burning like a fire

you can save your apologies you're nothing but a liar

I've got shame, I've got scars

that I will never show

I'm a survivor

in more ways than you knew

Cause all the pain and the truth

I wear like a battle wound

so ashamed, so confused

I was broken and bruised

'Cause now I'm a warrior

I've got thicker skin

I'm a warrior

I'm stronger than I've ever...

I couldn't finish. My tears and all of the pain that I felt inside made it impossible.

I couldn't go on without her. I just couldn't

"D-d-em-m-m-i? I-i-i-s-s-s-s t-t-t-h-a-a-t-t-t yo-u-u-u?" Alena staggered, weakness prevelent in her voice.

I tried my best to hold back the tears as I replied, "Yeah baby, it's me."

She grabbed my hand in hers and slowly stroked it.

"I kn-now-w w-what-t's c-coming n-ne-e-ext," her stutter was less apparent, but still exsistent.

I couldn't help but smile at her emotional intelligence and maturity.

"I do too babygirl. It's okay if you're scared, I am too, but don't worry, I'll be right here," I responded.

"Demi?"

"Yeah baby?"

"Can I give you some advice?"

"Sure, but about what?" I asked.

"Live your life in the present. When I'm gone, don't hold onto me and how I died, btu just remeber me and... and and all the the go-good times th-that we-we h-had togethe-er," her struggling broke my heart, "I-i'll s-see y-you a-a-g-ain o-on-e-e d--day, I-I-I l-l-ove..."

That was the last thing I heard my Alena say. Sadness hit me like a bolder because of what I had just lost but I realized that not only had I lost something, but gained something too. I will never be the same person that I was six months ago. Never.