Through the Blades Reflection

chapter 9

Chapter 9

Veronique stalked the halls of the academy, reminiscing over what she had done to seraphine the night before. She knew what she did was wrong, but she did set him off. But then she realised why she was so rude to seraphine. She was jealous of her. Envious. There were all different words for what she felt but they all meant the same thing. Veronique could not find a scrap of love or forgiveness in this place at all. Only from seraphine could she find solace, and she knew it. She couldn’t keep this up with her. She had to go apologise to her, and for once help her.

She knocked on seraphines door, eagerly awaiting an answer. She couldn’t blame her for not answering. She would still be upset, but what if something had happened to her? I bashed against the door as worry struck me like lightning, and I bashed against the door until I had lost all patience and stalked into the room without permission. The room was spotless and everything was in its place. Seraphine was peacefully in bed, marks from undried tears visible on her face and of course the pillows. She must be sleeping very deeply to be asleep, or maybe she had only just gotten to sleep.

She should have left her to her sleep, but something felt wrong, out of place. The aura that seraphine usually gave off even when she slept, was absent, replaced with a black void of nothingness. Now that was worrying. She stepped near seraphine, and she held her hand. They were cold like ice, and her wrist held no pulse. My hand slipped from hers, and my face went white. She really had died of grief. She died because of ME. She was gone, and she would never know how sorry I was. That I was only acting pettishly, like a child.

I broke down on the floor into uncontrollable sobs of pain and anguish. I had to tell Shaun. I had to tell him that she died because of me. Of my doings. Seraphine would never know how sorry I was, and Shaun would never forgive me.

I ran out of the room and went through the many corridors, until I found the great hall where everyone sat eating from a feast of foods and that also included Shaun, who ate at the head of the table, everyone watching him with awe.” Shaun?” I asked, my voice slightly wavering. He looked over at me, his face showing no sign of what had taken place last night.” What is it now Veronique? If it is about seraphine, I still don’t want to see her. I am mad about what happened last night and because I was so sure, I didn’t alert the head of the academies yet. I want to get rid of this demon before he can do anything to seraphine.” This was too much for me. I broke down on the floor again into sobs of sorrow, and Shaun watched me with horror.” What are you doing!? I have never seen you this upset. What, what is it?” I looked up at him, and my voice cracked and wavered when I answered,” I think, Shaun, that the demon has already claimed her.” Shaun’s face went deathly white, and his lips only uttered the following words.” What do you mean? Is she gone?” my heart nearly shattered watching him. He cared so deeply for her. It was love, I could see it. He had given his heart to her, as she had done for him, and now I had to shatter the bond.” She’s dead.”

Shaun bowed forward, and howled with pain. He ran from the room, everyone following in hot pursuit, but I pushed them away, telling them to go back to breakfast, which they did with much persistence.

When I reached the room, Shaun was by seraphines side, him holding her to him and shaking her trying to bring her back to life. He cried into her shoulder, letting his horror and grief wash over me and her lifeless body like hail. I kneeled beside him, shaking his arm and trying to pull him away, but it was like trying to hold an umbrella in the wind and rain.” Seraphine, I’m so so so sorry…..” I sat next to Shaun, and I wrapped my arms around both him and seraphine. I couldn’t believe she was gone, and from what I could gather neither was Shaun. He loved her, and love was all he had. “Shaun…. it was my fault that she’s dead. I said things last night that I shouldn’t have said. I came back to apologise this morning to her and I found her like this.” Shaun never moved to reply; he only kept holding her and rocking back and forth, feeling the weight of her hair under his strong masculine hands.

I wish I could have been loved like seraphine is. To be missed more than any other and to be wanted the most of all people.” It was not you. It was him. I just know it. She wouldn’t have died from what you had said, no matter the harshness of it. He took her soul.” I grabbed his arm.” He took her soul because of me. I made her let down her guard, her morals, everything. He wouldn’t have taken her if it wasn’t for…for me”, Shaun intervened.” I made her lose her guard. I yelled at her and ranted at her. She died because of me and my wrong-doings.”

We held her for another hour, until our arms were sore from holding her limp body along with her dead weight. We told the others of what happened to seraphine, but none believed it until she was shown to everyone. Everyone grieved in different ways. Most of us cried and blamed ourselves, others even left the academy to not cause more grief for others, but overall, everyone felt pain from seraphines death, friend or no friend. For her burial, everyone thought it would be suitable for her to be buried in the cemetery for the most respected warriors from the academy, but Shaun did not agree with them.” She should be buried along with her ancestors, in her home city. She would have wanted that.” Everyone, thinking that Shaun was the most suitable person to make the decision, agreed to the idea and went along with it.

It took two weeks to get the preparations ready, Shaun the whole time only staying in seraphines room and grieving. Like I said, everyone grieved in their own way, but Shaun’s way was special. He cared for her deeply, and I wouldn’t want to stop him. But it was starting to tear him apart, seraphines death. He couldn’t do anything else other than cry or howl with misery. He wanted to smell her scent, because her aura was now gone from the room, along with her.

The burial was held in seraphines home city, Brussels, England, and she was buried alongside her parents and her brothers. As Shaun was in charge of the inscription, we didn’t know what he had put on her tombstone, but we knew it would be memorable.

We all gathered around to give our last goodbyes, everyone putting down flowers or possessions that they wished her to have for her next life without us. Shaun, though, put down a rose, but also seraphines sword, justice, on the coffins lid. He wanted her to have at least something she loved in her next life. Everyone was touched by this, but he only kept the same face the entire time; red and crumpled, but never crying. He looked too fed up for it now. He knew grieving would help her no longer. He knew he had to be strong, and strong was what he was being.

We all watched as the coffin was lowered and freshly dug dirt was poured over where seraphines body shall now rest for an eternity. Shaun lightly grabbed my arm, asking,” When I die, shall you have me buried beside her?” I looked at him with concern.” Why do you speak as if it will be soon and I shall be doing your funeral?” I queried. Shaun only kept his head bowed, showing no emotion or response.” Who ever said I was to die soon?” with that he walked from the cemetery, a private carriage awaiting him. I was to go with the others back to the academy, but I decided to hire my own carriage. I needed my own time to look over what had just happened that very day.

As I walked past where seraphine would now lie forever, I reflected on the last night I ever spoke to her, and as I did so, I looked at her gravestone. The sight of it was mesmerising. He had the tombstone made from marble, and her name was carved in elegant, but expressive gold writing. On it was her name, but the comments under went straight to my broken heart. Under it were the comments: “beloved friend, sorrowed confider and forever lost love”.

I looked at the gravestone with awe, and wondered what he had meant by forever lost love. she wasn’t forever gone. She was within everything we knew now. She was with one with the earth. She was every element. The wind that was blowing the autumn leaves from the ground and the songs of birds singing from the treetops. I only wished that he knew that, so that he would be happy for his remaining days, like I hoped to be.

As I left the cemetery, I looked back at where her tombstone was, putting the image to memory for it may have been the last time I will ever see it, when a girl walks along the path and stops at the tombstone. She bends down and observes the names, and I could swear her postured slacked when she got to Shaun’s quote at the bottom of the stone. When she had sensed my presence, she turned around, and seraphine was standing there, a flamboyant but elegant gown on around her, snow falling into her hair. I only looked; I was in too much shock. Was it her?

I looked over at the carriage and signalled for the driver to halt, but by the time I turned back around, seraphine was gone, a few snowflakes the only evidence that she was ever there.