MY 7 BROTHERS [BTS FF]

Let me explain

PLEASE READ I WANT EVERYONE TO UNDERSTAND WHY I AM NOT UPDATING

Hi everyone it's your awful author. I want to start off with an apology. I'm am so sorry for not updating for so long. J know I shouldn't make excuses but there's is just so much going on in my life right now. Recently my mom had a baby. He's a boy and his name is Joshua. He is my first younger brother since I have 4 sisters. All together I now live with 3 of my sisters and my brother. Now just to let you all know we don't have the same dad. His dad isn't really involved in Joshua's life so as the oldest sister in my house I take on way more responsibilities along with the next older sister. Both of us are constantly running up and down stairs just to wash out a bottle, go grab the pacifier and so on. Even though we have the baby to worry about we also have my mom. She had sea sections with all of her children including my brother. So we need take care of her as well. Along with that I live with my grandmother and she too would help with the baby but recently my grandma has been sick. Really sick she can't even move to use the bathroom by herself. So we have to take care of her ourselves too even my mom has been trying to take care of her but it's dangerous because there's a risk she can tear her incision. On top of alllll of this school. We have began doing online school I'm am so stressed out with all of the online assignments because I have no time to do them. On top of that quarantine. I'm a social person within my own friend group. Now outside my friend group I'm quiet. But when I'm with my friends I feel so happy because I don't like being home. My sister(the one who normally helps out) she puts me down a lot. Yea it's weird cause I'm older but for starters she taller then me and stronger then me. I can't fight her back cause she's younger and I would be the one in trouble. School was my escape from her and now that school is over I stuck here. With all if this going on in my life I fell into a deep whole of depression and anxiety. I'm so depressed and tired I can't even bring myself to talk with my friends on call. Im so mentally drained I don't even write anymore. It's like I became a robot like I'm programed to only do the thing the people in my house want me to do. I don't have any feelings and I can't argue. It's just too much going on I can't take it. I have struggled with suicide in my past but I don't think I've ever wanted to end my life more then now. I'm not trying to sound like I'm asking for your pity. I'm asking you understand my situation and just support me and this story during this difficult time. Thank you for reading this one appreciate you so much. I'll do my best to update okay but please don't give up on this book I'll figure it out I promise. Thank you my loves and bye for now. If you have any questions just DM me privately on either here or Instagram I'll leave it here for you
asiatheasian05