The Adventures of Homestuck Baby

The beginning

Homestuck Baby was sitting in the kitchen with her mother Arida Wig, she was cooking her a grilled cheese sandwich for breakfast. it was 4/20, homestuck baby's birthday. She ate her grilled cheese and went up stairs to slip on her black sailor uniform with a white bow. She tied her long black hair into a pony tail and ran out the door. She was almost late to school but she made it before the bell. Her friend Tezeri, Terezi's evil twin sister, was with her boyfriend damnsee, gamzee's evil twin. "y0u w3r3 4lm0st l4t3" Tezeri said. Owen strider sat in the back of the class, observing a kid named Dirk a Dirk Jr. The name of Homestuck Babys' father's name is Dirk a Dirk so she always guessed it was a funny coincidence. At the end of the day, the sun was setting. Homestuck baby was walking home alone. She was talking with Owen Strider but he was being weird and talking about Elmo and Cookie monster having premarital sex and how their babies would be purple so she ran away. Owen Strider was a weird brony kid and she tried to avoid making conversation with him.                                                                                                                                     She checked the time and found out that  is was already 5:30. She began to speed walk down the street to her house, not paying attention to where she was going. She then accidentally bumped into a tall sexy man. He looked like he was almost balding and he wore glasses. He sounded like kokichi ouma and then  she gasped and blushed a bright red. It was Derek stephen prince. She has had a crush on him for a long time, her mother didnt like this unhealthy crush because homestuckbaby had cardboard cut outs, body pillows, and posters of Derek all over her room. "Are you okay?" The 5'11" Pedophile asked. She stammered as she sat on her butt infront of her life long sweetheart. "I-I" She said stammering and blushing. He put his hand out for her to grab and help her up. She took his hand and stood up. She looked down at the floor. She was too flustered to look at him.  He held her soft grey hand and she blushed. His hand felt like an old mans dehydrated saggy nuts but it didnt matter to her. She swooned but tried to keep calm. They stared into each others eyes for a few minutes until she realized she needed to go home. She let go of his nutsack hands and said"I need to get home, bye!" She ran away blushing, promised to never wash her hands again. Derek stared at her with a loving look, he felt like he wanted to be more than accquaintances with her.                                                                                 Homestuck Baby burst through the door, she was panting and blushing and stuttering. "Are you okay sweetie?" Arida asked. Homestuck baby ran past her and into her room where she grabbed her favorite body pillow of Derek and cuddled it. She made out with it and she sighed and walked back down stairs. "Honey i'm off to work!" Dirk a Dirk yelled from the front door.

*Homestuck babys POV*

 He worked a lot but we got a lot of money for that. Dirk a Dirk was a lawyer and thanks to him we live in a multi-million dollar mansion and i go to a sexy private school.I dont know why Dirk a Dirk Jr goes to my school because i heard he is poor and only eats pickles. Anyways i ran back down stairs sweating like crazy and drooling from my mouth. My mom assumed i had rabies but its whatever. I told her about how i met the love of my life and how his sexy hot hands felt like rasins. She just rolled her eyes and believed i was making it up. I couldnt believe her that she didnt believe me. I ran upstairs and cried on my kokichi ouma checkered pillow. I was so sad. I then had some elbow pasta and felt better. Thats when my laptop messages buzzed, some one messaged me. I ran to my laptop and exited out of ms paint and saw that the one and only Derek Stephen Prince. I fainted.