Drown

5

Trigger warning
May have some errors.

I kept getting calls from Harry, asking for me to come back to his apartment and make things right. I mentally shook my head while repeating to myself-

"He doesn't love you, he only uses you for his own pleasure."

A light knock was heard from the other side of my bedroom door.

"Come in" I said, softly.

The door slowly opened to find my mother wearing her bathrobe, her hair slightly wet from taking a shower, I assumed.

"Niall, I'm sorry for snapping at you, I didn't mean to say all those hurtful feelings, I just-"

She didn't even look up at me, keeping her eyes on the ground the whole time.

"Do you know how much that hurt me? Making me feel like complete shit?"

Tears threatened to spill from her eyes.

"I just miss your father" She choked, sobbing softly.

"Ever since Greg died your father, and you, meant the world to me. I wouldn't know how to deal with myself if one of you ever left."

I got up from my desk chair, slowly walking over to her and pulling her into a small hug, rubbing circles on her back.

"I wish you left rather than James" She said so softly, I could barely tell if I was imagining it or not.

I pulled away.

"Y-you wished what?"

She finally looked me in the eyes.

"I wish your father was here rather than you, having Greg back as well. He had it all going on! And he loved girls rather than the same sex! Why do you have to be so different from everyone else?!"

Why is she saying this, what is wrong with everyone?!

"What the fuck is the matter with you! Why can't you understand that I'm different and that I love boys rather than girls! Why can't you just accept that about me!" I screamed, feeling my ears starting to ring from the pain.

"I hate you Niall! I wish you were never born! You were just a mistake like all the others! You never belonged in this family."

She slammed the door shut, leaving me speechless on the floor.

Why is this happening to me?!

I didn't hesitate a split second. I got up and went straight to the bathroom, pushing aside those same pink pills and grabbed my little black box.

"Hello, old friend" I whispered, tears streaming down my face.

I ripped it open, pulling out the small shiny object and dragged it across my skin, going deeper than last time.

Just keep going Niall, nothing's holding you back.

I went ever deeper.

Just cut vertically, just end it all now. There's nobody that cares about you, your whole family doesn't give a shit about you.

I gripped the blade ever tighter, preparing myself.

Just as I dragged it across my skin about quarter of an inch, my phone began to ring. I slowly looked up from the floor and my phone screen set on the counter.

Zayn Malik: missed call 2x.

Shit.

I quickly got up, feeling light headed from so much blood being drawn, causing me to stumble out the bathroom.

"Help" I barely managed to get out.

The last thing I remembered was hearing heavy footsteps before everything went black.

A/N

Kinda short sorry bout dat

So next chapter's gonna be kinda dark, love maybe idek