Bi Curious

"Today."

"Coffee?" Zed wearing her good morning smile.

"Thank you." sagot ni Maddy pagka abot ng tasa. "So why do you have this army stuff in your house." sabay nguso sa ibabaw ng isang cabinet.

"Oh that..." Zed walk through and fix the medal frame "I'm an ex military, well yeah I'm still a reserve officer I should say."

"That's cool, Bakit ka umalis?" curious na tanong niya.

Kibit balikat siya "Long story to tell, I never wanted to leave but I have to."

Kahit medyo naintriga siya ay pinigilan niya ang pag tatanong dito. "I see." komento nalang niya. "You're single right?"

"Yeah. Muka ba akong taken?"

Maddy stares at her. "Well... You look decent. Yung parang walang alam sa sex." natatawang komento niya.

"Sabi nga nila." 

"Nila?" diin ni Maddy.

"Girls at the bar, of course I'm meeting lots of bi you know."

"And why are you single?" balik ulit ni Maddy.

"Why do you ask?" Zed locks her eyes on her.

"Just curious."

"Are you applying to be my girlfriend?"

"Nope." bawi agad ni Maddy. "I don't want to."

Maddy gave her a quick look and zip her coffee. It seems like some colors in her eyes faded as she say nope.

"Wow." she heard Zed. "Low key rejection is real."

"Why? gusto mo akong maging girlfriend?"

"Syempre hindi din, ayaw mo sakin eh." Biro nito.

"You don't know me Zed. Love is not in my vocabulary."

"Bakit mo naman nasabi yan? haven't you experience love from your mom? dad? or who so ever you fall in loved with?"

"I haven't fall in love with someone else, and I never experience having a mom or dad." She said honestly.

"I see, I just unlock one puzzle of you Maddy."  She winked at her.

"Whats with the unlocking thing. I have nothing you know. I think if you'll know me better you'll be disgusted of what I am before, now and tomorrow."

Zed was a little overwhelmed as Maddy was opening things with her. The night they were together, she saw her as a woman who's just looking for sex. Now she's like an open book ready to be red. 

A minute of silence before Maddy continue her speech. "So I like it this way, you know. I have you, I can talk to you."

"You like it this way?" Zed gave her a thinking face. "OK we're friends is that what you mean?"

"Hmmm.. maybe? I don't know If I'll call you a friend I never had one."

Napakamot si Zed. "What are you?"

"I'm... nothing I told you." she laugh.

"Wala akong masabe. If you could share your story maybe I'll understand, But don't worry I believe in you."

"Yeah, I can share but not now." 

"Sure yeah?" Zed surrendered to drop the topic.

"Are you annoyed Zed?"

"Nope, why would I?"

"Wala naman, parang ang weird ko lang, hindi ka ba na wiwirdohan sakin?"

"Hmm.. Hindi naman, pero naiintriga ako sayo, like I'm interested in you, your story." seryosong sagot ni Zed

"I see. Don't worry interesado din naman ako sayo."

"Anong klaseng pagka interesado ba yan?" Zed asked.

"I don't know, basta I like you. Kung isa kang hayop ikaw ang paborito kong animal ngayon." pabiro ni Maddy.

"Hayop lang pala ko sayo." kunwaring may hinanakit na sabi ni Zed.

"Arte mo. Ayaw mo non' nag kaka gusto ako sayo."

"Hoy, kala ko ba ayaw mo akong jowa."

"Hoy ka din, hindi ko sinabing jojowain kita. Napaka atat mo ata magka jowa? Ilan na ba ang naging ex mo?"

"Isa lang." Tipid na sagot ni Zed. "We broke up 2 years ago pa I think."

"Oh... naka move on kana?"

Tinignan siya ni Zed. Isang seryosong tingin.

"Siguro?"

"Bakit siguro?"

Zed do her signature move, combing her hair through her fingers. "Tagal kasi namin." Simula niya. "Eight years. Gusto nyang magka pamilya. Gusto nya ma experience maging ina, to give birth."

"Uhuh, bakit di kayo nag artificial?"

"Gusto nya ng asawa, like a real husband." those words taste bitter as Zed say it... she can taste it. "So nag asawa sya, pinag bigyan ko. Kahit na bandang huli kabit ang naging labas ko." Napa tawa ito. But it was a fake laugh.

"So hinayaan mong maging kabit ka? Napaka tanga mo naman pala." sagot ni Maddy.

"Who cares Maddy? Alam mo pag andun ka sa sitwasyon at mahal mo talaga sya wala ka naman talagang pake sa label at kung ano ka sa kanya. Basta mahal mo sya' yun lang alam mo."

"Bakit tinigilan mo ang pagiging kabet mo?"

"Na stress kasi sya, hindi sila magka anak. Baka daw kasi ako ang sumpa. Kaya sabi nya wag na daw kaming magkita." tumawa ulit si Zed.

"Mahal kaba talaga nya? oh ikaw nalang may mahal sakanya?"

"Mahal naman niya ako, but she knows that I love her more so lahat ng kapritso nya ibibigay ko. She knows that I'll be fine." Zed played her finger on her cup of coffee. "Ok naman ako ngayon." then she smiled a bit, she's not even looking at her, shes staring at the coffee cup.

"Na stress ako sayo Zed." totoo ang pag ka stress na naramdaman niya.

"Alam mo Maddy, Ako yung tipo ng tao na mamahalin ka pero alam ko din na pwedeng hindi ako ang una, huli o ang one and only. I know that you have loved before and you will love again. Alam kong iiwan mo ako, Ang importante lang kasi sakin yung ngayon. Kung mahal mo ako ngayon yun lang mahalaga. I'll endure you today bahala na ang bukas... ang importante binigay ko sayo yung isang parte ng buhay ko. Kung meron man akong isang bagay na hindi ko mababawi yun yung pag mamahal na binigay ko sayo. Di ba sabi sa bible, wag mong problemahin ang araw ng bukas, siya ang bahala sa sarili nya. So, kung yung mahal ko wala na bukas saka ko na iisipin. Importante akin ka ngayon."

Her jaw drop. Walang nasabi si Maddy sa litanya ni Zed. In the corner of her mind she had a glimpse of what an unconditional love could be. And she was amazed by her favorite animal... Zed.