Hopelessly Inlove

Chapter I: Silent Treatment

I'm gonna have to wait 10 days before this lockdown would end so that I could have the chance to see her again. This is driving me insane... My appetite's gone and my sleep schedule's broken, I've been worrying and thinking about the girl I've loved the most.

Pano ba naman kasi eh napaka cold nya recently tapos bigla pa syang mang iignore?

I don't really know kung may nagawa ba ako or what. I thought everything was just fine till she totally and intentionally ignored me.

Verbatim of our last decent conversation went like:

It was 9 PM then
Me: Kumain ka na ba dinner?

Her: Di pa

Me: Di ka pa naman gutom?

*30 mins passed
Her: Nakain na

Me: Buti namanss, pakabusogss :>

Her: Sarap pala ng mangga tsaka meatloaf

Me: Di ko alam na bagay pala yown. Eat well :>

*20 mins passed
Her: Tapos na

Me: Guuuds yaann.

AND THAT WAS HER LAST REPLY.
I was waiting for her to respond but she never did. Akala ko okay lang lahat. I thought na, di lang sya nag rereply kasi wala kaming ma topic. We've all been there naman diba, yung awkward moment na di mo alam rereply mo since you've basically talked with each other about your whole life. Lalo na with this Lockdown, sobrang dami naming na kwento sa isa't isa to the point na naubusan na siguro kami ng kwento?

But I I highly doubt na its the reason why she's ignoring me. She was still online till almost 12AM and her last chat was just before 10PM. She even posted on her myday with the quotes:

"Alam mo yung feeling na okay ka naman, pero parang ang lungkot"

This made me sad, concerned and slightly annoyed. Sad because I don't know why she wouldn't tell me that she's feeling like that and concerned because I love her, and who wouldn't wish for their girl's happiness?

And I was slightly annoyed cuz I thought that I would be the first one she would open up to whenever she feels sad. But it was not the case, so questions popped into my head such as "Have I done something wrong?", "Doesn't she trust me enough?", "Am I the reason why she's sad?"

My overthinking self had just taken over all my thoughts at this point. And I really hope that she'd tell my why she was sad. So what I did now is to reply on her messenger's myday.

All I said was "U okay? 🥺". She's been inactive for quite a while and its past 12AM already. She must have fallen asleep, after a while I just left her a message.

"Good night, hope u sleep well 😘"

(Auth's note: Naubusan na ako ng English at tinamad ako HAHAHA tagalog muna)

Di ako nakatulog ng mahimbing ng gabing yun, dahil nanaman sa pag ooverthink. Pinag dasal ko nalang sya at humiling kay lord na ingatan sya at gabayan palagi. Hiniling ko din kay lord na bigyan nya akong ng patience para matiis sya. Dahil sa huli, alam ko namang magiging worth it din ang lahat pag nakuha ko na ang kanyang "oo".

Nag hintay ako hanggang kinabukasan para sa reply nya. Nagising ako halos 11AM na at ang una kong tinignan ay ang aking phone at kung nag reply na ba sya. Mas maaga sakin nagigising yun eh kaya ineexpect ko na baka nakapag reply na sya.

Pag bukas ko ng phone:
*No notifications*

My thoughts went like: fnsismaoanwksndisna puta wtf. Naka on naman wifi ko ah. Bat walang notif?