Kenai

Chapter Fourteen - An Obsession

Four days passed, and more waves of Varaat soldiers attacked the Academy. By the time the fifth day came, rather than the expected text from Ferne, my phone rang. I answered it without hesitation, curious to hear what she had to say. I put the call on speaker so that Katie, who was cleaning her arrows, could hear it.

"Ferne," I cried, "I thought you'd forgotten me!"

"Your arrogance will be your downfall." Ferne spat.

"So when's Deacon making his appearance?"

"You must have a death wish."

"Nah, more like a desire to meet the son of a bitch who killed my mother."

Ferne laughed. "Same thing, really."

"So when can I see him?"

"He'll come on his own terms, not yours."

"And the next wave? You gonna send any more soldiers to die?"

There was silence for a few moments, and what sounded like a stifled sob from the end of the line, and I wondered if I had killed people that Ferne knew. I decided to change tactics and approach her differently.

"Look, Detective," I say, "I never asked for a war. I never wanted to be a part of a world that could be so barbaric and hateful. I never wanted this to happen and I certainly never wanted to be a killer."

"But look at you now," Ferne sneered, "fighting a war, killing without hesitation. Tell me Kayla, what makes you better than us?"

"I don't kill children."

"Don't you?"

The call ended abruptly, and Ferne's last comment hung in the air. Katie had run out of arrows to clean a long time ago and now watched me with concerned eyes. I said nothing as I stood up and left the dorm, throwing my phone onto the bed as I left.

---

I didn't go to the study, I ended up in the library. It was one of the only rooms I hadn't explored properly, and I decided that as a writer I would find more comfort in books than I had in weapons recently.

I walked along the shelves, touching each book to mark it as my own. I memorised every title, unsure whether it was deliberate or accidental that my memory was so good now. I watched my bruised knuckles bounce off of the spines of the books, and each knock on the leather sent a painful spike through my fingers. I wasn't built for fighting. Or was I?

Eventually I found a book that caught my eye. It was bound in black leather and had intricate gold lettering embellished in the front. The title screamed at me:

The Secrets of the Shadows

I knew I had to read it, so I sat down in one of the stiff wooden chairs, loosened the laces on my boots and began to read.

---

When Katie found me, I was just finishing the last chapter of the book. It was a riveting read, one that had opened my eyes to the world I had been dragged into. I heard Katie coming before I saw her, and I was able to make myself look less knackered before her arrival.

"Ferne rattled you, didn't she?" Katie asked.

"No," I lied, "she was just tryna get a rise out of me."

"And it worked."

"No, it didn't."

"You wouldn't have run away if it hadn't worked."

She had me there. She grabbed a chair and sat opposite me, staring into my eyes like Mum always used to. I forgot she was inside my head now; there was nothing I could hide from her.

"I think we need to talk." She said.

"About what?" I ask.

"This. You."

I leaned forward in my seat, curious. "What about me?"

"Kay, this has to stop."

"What?"

"Your war with the Varaat. There are bigger things to be worried about."

"You mean the literal end of the world?"

"Exactly, and you don't seem fazed by anything other than the thought of killing Deacon. I'm worried about you."

I sat back, surprised, and I saw a spark ignite in her eyes. Before I could say another word, Katie opened her mouth, and I don't know if she was responsible for what came out or if I was.

"For the last week I've fought beside you. I watched you get hurt over and over again and you just laughed it off. That Jägerbar could've torn you in half! You're reckless, arrogant bordering on cocky, and you're losing track of the bigger picture."

I stood up, knocking the chair over in my anger.

"I'm helping the spirits pass on!" I shout.

"You're obsessed with the Varaat!" Katie shouted back.

"They killed my mother, in case you'd forgotten!"

"And they killed my mother, my father, my sister and my brother!"

I froze. I knew her family had died in a car crash like my father, but hearing her acknowledge the involvement of the Varaat was terrifying.

"I had no idea." I said quietly.

"That's because you never asked!" Katie shouted, "I'm a hybrid; half Wesen half human, and my parents and my other hybrid siblings were murdered because my parents fell in love. Do you have any idea what that's like?! Your parents survived a slaughter, but mine were victims too."

Katie walked away, leaving me alone in the silence. I watched her go, feeling her pain in my head, and I wanted to chase after her, but something held me back. She had just poured her heart out to me after I'd shouted at her, and here I was working overtime trying to fix the problems of ghosts in an old school. Katie was right, I am obsessed.

---

That night I stayed in the study. I knew that Katie needed space, and I had a lot of research to do. I tried to push the Varaat into the corners of my mind so that I could concentrate on stopping the Zerstörer, but it was painful to even try. Nevertheless, I pulled every book I could find on the Zerstörer off of the shelves and scattered them across the newly cleaned floor. I grabbed my notebook and pens, sipped my coffee, and prepared myself for a very long night.