Letters to a Valkyrie

DAY THREE: THE DANCE

I'm currently writing this in the noble suite of the Bright Blade Brandished (say that any number of times quickly, I dare you) in Silverymoon. I will cover how we got here in a moment, there are some things from Day Three I forgot to cover. It was nothing to important, just an impromptu dance after the festival. What happened on the way to the dance was important, however.

Those members of Alexandra's squad who fought on Thask's team during the festival reconnected with her. Apparently, the cleric, Jenzen, had already met up with her. Not sure when, I must have missed it. He grabbed Flern, the girl Locklin had competed with in the weird water bit, and one other guy I don't think was in the festival with us. His name was Tyzel and he was apparently Alexandra's second in command. They talked for a bit while I just walked behind them, enjoying seeing her so happy. She had been pretty worried about them, and now she seemed so relieved.

As we walked, I tried to find some way to put this crush behind me. Ciarnali was fairly easy, we don't talk very much, and I'm pretty sure she doesn't like me all that much. But Alexandra? She was genuinely sweet to me. She IS genuinely sweet. She's quiet and mature and... safe. She helped me when I remembered my face and my fear of fire. She didn't cringe away from me when she saw my face the first time. A lot like you. Well, I assume you didn't. I was unconscious the first time you saw me. But even so, you were the one who didn't shy away from me after you rescued me. Even Kara was made uncomfortable by my face. Which I understand, I even have a hard time looking at it myself sometimes. But when someone doesn't even flinch, it means a lot.

I was lost in thoughts about you, Alexandra, Kara and the other Valkyries, and everything else that had happened over the past few days that I almost missed what was being said in front of me. I know it's rude to eavesdrop, but they were speaking right in front of me and they really didn't try to keep others from hearing all that hard. According to Jenzen, he and Flern were also Sigil Servants, like us. But Tyzel? He had joined a rebellion against the Lady.

Now, I feel I should say that I have no love for the Lady of Pain. She is as detached from us as we are from bugs. But that doesn't mean she has to treat us like we are bugs. She is all this and more.

But she is the only way I have to get back to you.

What's more, we are in her realm! She knows literally everything that happens in her realm, its an extension of her very being if I understand my theology correctly. I know that the Time of Troubles was caused by the death of a god, as was the Spellplague. Gods can die. But how can anyone hope to plot to overthrow one from within that god's own realm?

When we reached the Gymnasium, I tried to pull Alexandra aside, but we got separated in the crowd. She actually disappeared for a while, an hour at most. She wasn't anywhere I could find her at the dance, but I was getting asked to dance every few songs so I didn't have the time for looking I would have liked. There was one I didn't mind though. That goliath bard from the festival asked me to dance. He seemed to think I was a small goliath, I think. And I can see why, my skin is a dull blue-gray color, I'm pretty toned like most goliath I've seen, and I'm much taller than most elves you'll ever see. I showed him some of the dances you tried to teach me, and he seemed to like it.

Eventually Alexandra came back and I asked her about this rebellion. She had told Tyzel that she was proud of him for this! It seemed far too reckless to work. But if it was her choice, I wasn't going to tell her not to do it. Frankly, if it were anything but a god that had us captive, I would have joined in. I am a Valkyrie and the rightful Jarl of Alby and Mallanore, I have a duty to my people and gods to return home and lead them once I have regained my honor. But the fastest way to return home, as I see it, is to give the Lady of Pain what she wants. Get my memories back and fulfil whatever contract it was that I made with her to gain my release.

Alexandra apologized for not telling me about it. Apparently, everyone in the party knew about it but me. While I was bathing the first day, they had met that Thask character. The one I had fought earlier that day. They were all in on this rebellion and thought that I knew.

I wasn't mad at them for rebelling. As I said, if it were anyone else holding us, I would absolutely have joined them. I was worried that I would rat them out. You know how I am, Frieda, I couldn't lie if my life depended on it! The mask hides my blush, but it can't change my voice or body language. If someone came to me asking about it, I wouldn't be able to protect them. She promised not to tell me anything that could end up being used to hurt them.

And then... I asked her to dance.

I was having a lot more trouble putting my feelings for her out of my mind than I expected. I realize it had only been a few hours since I had gotten my memories of you back, and it takes times to process all of that. But my feelings for her now felt... dirty. Like I was cheating on you. Compare that too earlier in the day when I had tried (and failed) to get her attention after our events had ended, she gave me butterflies. I hoped that a dance or two with her would be enough to let me put this crush behind me.

It wasn't.