He screwed up. He screwed up bad. So, so bad. He hadn't meant for things to go so wrong. He hadn't meant to cheat on Oliver and he hadn't meant for that man to die. He hadn't meant for being an accomplice to murder, to chop the body up and to burn it down. He had just meant for one hell of a normal life, to be one hell of a normal student with a not so normal sex life.
He was gasping for air as he let his fist pound against the wooden door before him. Once, twice, thrice, all until the man living inside it opened.
“Oliver, I fucked up. I screwed up. It's... a fucking mess, fuck” he panted out, desperately trying to fill his lungs with oxygen. He walked back and forth twice outside the door, before he leaned onto the doorframe, studying the face of total confusion looking back at him.
“It's three in the morning, what are you on?” was the first comment Oliver made and Connor shook his head fast. “I screwed up so bad, Oliver. I screwed up”
He turned around to let his back rest against the door frame before he sank down into a crouching position, covering his ears with his gloves.
“Hey, come on, let's get you inside” Oliver crouched down before him and held out is hand to offer it to Connor, but he didn't take it. He held his hands pressed over his ears as he rocked back and forth, continuously murmuring out how he screwed up.
His breathing was rigid and he barely noticed it himself.
“I-I'm sorry” he panted out as Oliver grabbed his arms to tug him up on his feet and Connor managed to stay on them, though a bit shakily.
“I screwed up” he breathed out and Oliver nodded. “Let's get you into a hot shower, you're freezing” he stated as he pulled Connor inside and to the bathroom to allow him to shower.
Connor felt better as he stepped out of it. The worst shock had gone away, but he was feeling extremely anxious still.
“Do you feel better?” It was now that Connor realized that Oliver wore nothing but his boxers. It slowly came back to him that he hadn't worn more when he opened the door.
“Hey?” Oliver asked. “Do you? Feel better?”
Connor jerked some before he nodded. “Yeah. Thanks. I just... I was drunk”
“That wasn't being drunk” Oliver objected. “You said you'd screwed up. Connor, what did you screw up?”
Connor felt his breathing increasing, though he shook his head as in making an attempt to make Oliver buy that he was okay and that nothing was going on. He walked over to the bed to have a seat on it, himself dressed in nothing but his underwear. It didn't take many seconds until Oliver sat next to him, holding his hands in his.
“You have to breathe, Connor. Watch me. Hey. I'm here. Look at me” Connor turned to face Oliver as he continued to speak.
“Good. You're doing good, Connor. Just inhale with me” he inhaled and Connor followed his example
“So, talk to me, what did you screw up? Be calm and just tell me. I won't be mad” Oliver tried to guarantee but Connor knew that 'I cheated on you' and 'I killed a guy' didn't ring that well with people.
“I c-cheated on you” he panted out and he turned his gaze to watch him just as he saw Oliver's reaction, how hit eyes went blank for a second.
“What?”
“I n-needed info and I... It just h-happened and I'm so sorry and...”
“Hey...” Connor didn't know what was going on, if it was pity that made Oliver ont freak out more than he did, but he nodded quietly.
“It's okay. I'm here”
Connor felt himself being pulled into a hug and he exhaled, feeling his entire body relax into it.
“You'll be okay, Connor. I promise” Oliver murmured out, holding him. “I love you”
“What?”
“I love you” Oliver repeated and Connor pulled back just enough to watch him.
“I love you too”
