Secrets (A Chester Bennington Fan Fiction)

.2.

Everything changed after that night.

That perfect and steamy night.

I was no longer the beautiful angelic girl that everyone made me believe I was. Every time I looked at myself in the mirror, all I could think about was that night and how Chester entered my room and took me. Just like that. How can one have a pure soul after such a sinful moment? A moment has been repeating in a loop in my mind, all the time... Mental slaps didn't work. Watch a movie or read a good book, also didn't work anymore. And I felt like everyone who looked at me judged me for what happened, even though no one didn't even acknowledge that it actually happened.

OMFG, it actually happened! I had sex with Chester Charles Bennington, my brother's best friend!

Mike will kill us if he finds out!

This was my every thought, for the whole week after that night and since I didn't think about anything else, I decided to burn my kinky journal... What if someone else reads it? I'd be embarrassed, mortified, mocked or grounded. And if Chester knows that someone else read it he would sure be pissed off... So I burned it one night, after bitting my own nails while I stared at Chester's phone number... That was the one page I decided not to burn... It was special... It meant that it wasn't just a good dream...

I'm a jerk. I know I am. I didn't even text him or call him after it happened. He left me his phone number and I haven't used it yet! But what the hell was I supposed to say? Thank you? When can you fuck me again?

I simply couldn't talk to him.

So, obviously, I have been avoiding him. 

When I knew he was going to be in the basement with Mike and his friends, I grabbed my books and went to the university's library to study, or I went to Mindy's home to study with her. She was the only one that knew about my obsession with Chester and about that hot night with spent together. She didn't judge me or screamed like a hysterical teenager. She was actually pretty cool about it and that's why we are best friends since we were just 5 years old.

I tried my best to forget it. It was just meaningless sex for Chester, so it should be meaningless for me too. The difference was that I had feelings for him... And it was not meaningless, at all.

I don't mind though, I tasted what heaven felt like and I was so thankful for it that I didn't mind at all... What bothered me the most was that it seems like it was all I could think about.

This went on for a week and a half. I did my best to avoid Chester. Barely looked him in the eyes when we passed by each other. And some times, when I had the courage to look him in the eyes, those dark brown eyes the shone brighter than a burning star during the night, I could swear I saw something there. Something affectionate. Like he cared. Like was worried about my odd behavior.

I dismissed those thoughts because I was sure they were just a product of my imagination. That's how I lived all my life - in an imaginary world where Chester cared for me as I cared for him.

"Hey, are you even here tonight?" Mindy asked me, waving her hand in front of my eyes. I was biting my pen, thinking about Chester's teeth on my neck...

"Yes, I'm sorry, were saying anything?"

Mindy sighed and lowered her head.

"Chester?" She asked, even though she already knew the answer.

"Yeah..." I grunted, burying my head between my books. Mike and his friends were at my house that night, so, obviously, I didn't want to stay home. What if Chester decided to go upstairs and fuck me again as he did almost two weeks ago? Would I be able to use his phone number then? And what if that's it? It's just sex and nothing else? What if he just wants to have a good fuck and leave like I am just a whore? Oh my God, am I a whore??? I hit my head against the books a couple of times.