Keep the Mask, It Goes With Your Costume

~Chapter Twenty-Three: The Party~

Marinette starred blankly at the hundreds of people who came out into the square to see what Cat Noir had to say, that were cheering relentlessly for the defeat of hawkmoth and return of Ladybug. She couldn't stand being amongst the crowd of people, counting how many people she would disappoint. So she ran, she pushed her way through the crowds making fists with her hands, shoving people away so she could get out of there as soon as possible, tears streaming like a waterfall out her eyes. When she made it back to the bakery, she quickly opened the door and slammed it behind herself. Both of her parents were still starring at their television, they too had just watched what happened. They both starred blankly at her, and her back at them, Tom was the first to break the silence.

"You're gonna go, right? I mean you totally deserve this, the least they can do is throw you a big celebration, and the least you can do is show up so they know you appreciate it. Plus....Cat Noir is convinced he really owes this to you.....imagine how disappointed he'd be." he told her gently.

"I can't papa! My miraculous is still broken, and I'm the guardian of the miraculous! If they want Ladybug to go I'll have to reveal myself and that's too dangerous. We don't know how many people out there are after the immense power of the miraculous, if they try to come I can't transform and protect them, or myself! And even if there is no one like that in Paris, how long do you think it will take for the word to get out to all of France?? All of Europe?? The whole world could know in barely any time! I can't take that risk.........I'm not going." Both her parents knew she was breaking her own heart by rejecting the love of Paris, but they also knew what she said was true, revealing herself was way too much of a risk.

She was going to have to "be the hero" and "make the sacrifice," as if she hadn't done that at least a thousand times already. That very moment she realized, no matter how hard she tried, she was always going to have to be the hero. She can have a broken, unusable miraculous, have already defeated the enemy, and have literally no one left to save, but she'll still have to make sacrifices to do the right thing, she will always have too. Just the thought of never getting a break from this life broke her down, and she ran up to her room plopping herself on the bed. She tried to think of a time before she got her miraculous, a time when her biggest responsibilities were having good grades and getting enough sleep at night.

She tried instead to think of Cat Noir and how he had to go through the same thing as her, so at least she wasn't doing it alone. But once she began to think about Cat Noir, it made things a hundred times worse because she remembered in an instead that he was Adrien. The same Adrien who's mom she didn't save, the same Adrien who's father was arrested because of her, and the same Adrien that she was going to make so disappointed the next evening.

She stuffed her head in her pillow and moaned, her little Kwami had been taking a nap while Marinette was at the station, in hopes to restore a little bit of her strength. Marinette forgot about her during her agony and continued moaning and groaning even louder. Of course this woke Tikki up, but she wasn't angry, instead she flew to Marinette to offer some help in her sorrows.

"Marinette what happened? You're finally yourself again and you seem even more upset then when you weren't!"

Marinette looked up a little suddenly, she still wasn't used to hearing that voice calm her in distress, it had been so long since the two had this kind of interaction.

"Cat Noir is throwing some sort of party for me tomorrow, to thank me for saving the city and apologize for threatening my life.....twice..." she said with a roll in her eyes, "But since my miraculous is broken, I can't go as Ladybug without revealing myself. So I guess I'm just stuck watching as Marinette from my balcony." she sighed, and looked up through her trapdoor to see the sky and hopefully calm herself down a little bit.