Caught in the Middle: an endless cycle
By: Me
Caught in the middle between Nothing and Something
Caught between Apathy and Everything
Through the mirror I stare at myself day and night;
And watch the scales of my heart switch from left to right.
In the mirror, all I can see is failure
The emotional Tsunami that is my life consumes me
And therefore the empty tidal wave of apathy protects me
From everything that I Could feel
By feeling nothing, something can't get through
After all Nothing can't hurt me
But something can
Something is too much
Something is overwhelming
Something hurts
And therefore i'm caught in the middle,
Because something can also be good.
Something can be peaceful or pleasant,
But more often than not it hurts.
So i'm trapped between wanting nothing and wanting something.
Something is an emotion.
Usually negative emotions make me feel weak and pathetic.
But I know it's natural to feel these things
So why do I still feel pathetic?
Nobody wants to be alone
But being with people can cause pain.
The pressure of being good enough for them is to much.
So I try to lock myself .
But when I don't meet expectations,
Something breaks the lock,
And their disappointment is the only thing I can imagine,
And this hurts.
So I try to drown myself in the void that is apathy,
But the pointless hope that I might reach their expectations keeps me afloat.
That's why i feel as if this poem isn't good enough,
Because passion is emotion,
And emotion breaks my lock,
And insecurities and thoughts of failure flow behind it,
"It's not going to meet anyone's expectations"
"Is it long enough?"
"Is it too emotional?"
"What's the point of this poem?"
"What am I trying to say?"
Truth is I don't know.
I don't have a passion.
I'm apathetic towards everything and too afraid of failure to try anything.
And i'm mean.
I push around anyone who shows emotion because i can't handle it,
And i'm a horrible person because of that.
I should just.....
I have to keep going for the people who care about me.
Even if I don't care about myself.
It's not good enough
It's not good enough
It's not good enough
I'm not good enough
God, i'm such a failure
YOU ARE READING
Poem(s?)
PoetryA poem (or maybe more) that my angsty ass wrote The only thing I own are my poems, none of the pictures are mine
