Bailey stopped texting me for a couple of days and I haven't seen her at school. I hope nothing is going on between us that might hurt us. I dress like a bum I really don't care I just want to see Bailey smile. it hurts a lot not seeing her. I love her and she loves me. "Mad Maddi what's up?" he says with a smile.
I look past him and see bailey with some guy. Right away my heart is broken pain is taking over my body and hate is coming out. "I have to go" I say with a tear daring to appear. I see Bailey kiss that guy while he grabs her butt. They are by my locker I walk over to them and I say excuse me. Bailey gets off of him and she is trying to say something. I know what will hurt her as much as she hurts me. "Hey Maddi!, I uh didn't see you there" she says like grabbing my hand. "Oh well my locker is kinda right here well anyways I gotta grab a few things and then I am going for a walk." I say with a huge smile. And with that her face saddens. "I'm sor I cut her off before I hear her lies" for what? nothing happend? All you are is just my friend that's all nothing more. That's all we will ever be." I say with a short smile. a tear rolls down her face and she doesn't wipe it away.
"hey well I gotta run nice talking to you" I twirl on my heel and walk away from her. "Maddi I'm sorry" I hear her saying as I walk away from her she repeats herself So many times it hurts. Its a constant ringing in my ear that won't go away. I run and I run nonstop until I run all the way home. I'm in so much pain but yet I feel so numb I hate this. I end up stubbing my toe on my dresser. It didn't hurt though. I felt something, I was touched my something.
I run downstairs something doesn't feel right. I look for some medicine to help me forget about this. Yeah she sleeping pills I read the back and see bow many to take. It says take two every 6-8 hours I take two. I take two more. I take 4 more. I take 4 more. I keep adding more and more non stop I can't stop. Then I start to feel the first set of pills kick in then the next and onward. My stomach hurts really bad I wanna puke but I can't. I have too much medicine in my bloodstream. I run to my room and I brake open my pencil sharpener and grab the blade.
One two three deep slices I cut a vein Its gushing out blood I feel my heart pounding. Its like nails on a chalkboard. The sound won't go away. I plug my phone in my speaker and blare the music to stop my heart pounding.
I make four more slices on my other arm. This one feels good it is balancing out the pain. I keep cutting I carve Baileys name in my ankle and wrist. I do it deeper and deeper with the next letter. I am losing a lot of blood from my other wrist. Maybe its the medicine but I'm sleepy so sleepy.
