Crystal Bay

Chapter Thirteen

The morning of the funeral arrives and I couldn't be less ready for it. How am I supposed to say goodbye forever, to one of the best friends I've ever had, my surrogate brother? Paul's been wonderful though all of this, I'm not sure I could have got through last night's viewing without him. The worst was when his mother collapsed in front of the casket, sobbing loudly and crying out her son's name. It was one of the most heartbreaking things I've ever witnessed and it tore everyone there apart. Sophie did her best to stay strong but that moment did her in, she fled from the room, crying uncontrollably. Following her out, I held her in my arms as she wept into my shoulder. After a few moments, Chris came outside as well and offered to drive her home, since the viewing was almost over, anyway. She'd declined, to my surprise, composing herself as best she could before rejoining the mourners inside.

Today will be so much worse, saying our final goodbyes to one of the best people any of us has ever known. "Baby?" Paul calls through the bathroom door, as I run my brush through my hair dazedly, not really caring how it looks but knowing I need to do it. "Are you about ready? We need to get going, it snowed a lot last night, so the roads are going to be pretty bad." 

"I'm ready," I tell him, though I don't think I could ever truly be ready for this. "I'll be out in just a sec." Please, let this be a dream? Let me wake up? I've made this plea repeatedly. 

"Alright," he says as I open the door. "Your dad's outside getting the car warmed up and Nat and Jake just dropped off the kids. Melody's still in her room, I'll go grab her." 

"Thanks, but I'll get her." Melody has had her own room at my parents' house since she was born, after Alexa came along, they started to share. I have no idea what my parents' plan is for when all four of their new grandchildren arrive.

I find Melody, sitting at the edge of her bed, staring out the window and looking so lost. "Are you ok hon?" I ask her, dumb question, I know. 

 "I still can't believe Uncle Ryan's gone," she says, her face a mask of pure sadness. "I hate this!" Sitting beside her on the bed I pull her to me. 

"I know sweetie, I do too." 

"I keep thinking I'm going to wake up and this will all have been just a horrible nightmare, but I know it's real and I hate it!" 

"Oh, honey, I wish it was just a nightmare. I'd give almost anything if I could bring him back." I give her shoulders a squeeze before continuing. "We do have to get going, though, Mel. We don't want to be late for the funeral." 

"I know," she says, rising and wiping her eyes. "I'm ready, I guess, let's go."

The funeral itself goes by in a blur and, before I know it, we're back at the funeral home preparing to leave for the wake. "May," Sophie shouts as I'm about to get into my parents' car. "My mom already left for the restaurant. Can you let her know that Chris is driving me home to change and that we'll meet you all there?" 

"Sure," I agree. "I'll let her know. I wish I'd bought some extra, more comfortable clothes down. If I had, I'd be doing the same." 

"Thanks May, we won't be too far behind you. See you there." 

"What was that about?" My mother asks while I maneuver myself awkwardly into the front seat. "Is everything ok?" 

"Yes, well, as ok as it can be, anyway." I relay Sophie's words to her. 

"That's understandable," she says when I've finished. "That poor girl, she and Ryan were just starting their lives together, juts starting their family."

About forty-five minutes after arriving at the wake Sophie still hasn't arrived and she's not answering her phone, we've all begun to worry. Cathy wants to go and check on her daughter, but she rode here with Ryan's parents. Chris had been using her car, he took it to drive Sophie. After asking my parents to borrow theirs, I offer to go and make sure Sophie's ok. "Thank you May, I know I shouldn't worry, she is with her brother-in-law, but she's going through so much right now..."