Mixtape Sixteen

burning desires under the ruby sun

Shane is a recovering drug addict who has been through hell and back, and back again.

For the nth time, he's now in a rehabilitation center for boys, supported by the government.

He was thirteen when he first took drugs. An older male taught him how to take them. And where to get them.

Trouble's the only best friend of Shane, and  left and right, he's been involved in a lot of robbery and juvenile violence.

His parents got fed up to him recovering and relapsing that now, they sent him to a rehabilitation center for good.

Every night without drugs felt like hell since day 1, that Shane involuntarily shivered at the top of the bunk bed, facing the dark, must ceiling, night after night, usually at 3AM. Sometimes he tried touching himself just to get that same euphoria that's kinda comparable to drugs. But sometimes nothing compares to the real deal. And besides, masturbation just leaves him with white fluid scattered on his clothes, the feeling of euphoria lasting only 10 seconds. So eventually he stopped doing that.

The next day, he woke up at 8:20AM. He dreamt last night but couldn't really remember exactly what it was, but he knew that there was some kind of white drink being splashed on some subway station.

Later that day he found himself at a meeting in the common room. A set of new faces were in front of them addicts, new faces of sponsors who are willing to take them as sponsees.

As Shane knows, sponsees are previously drug addicts themselves, who recovered and are now helping other addicts recover. Shane has been through a lot of sponsorship programs that at this point he's fed up by their fake smiles and artificial words of wisdom.

He can't help thinking that way. After all, he's still now in rehab, and no one really helped him get over his addiction.

"...And I'm Gary, I've been sober for 2 years now..."

Shane suddenly noticed the last sponsor introducing himself in front of the audience. He was a tall, skinny man with an air of confidence around him. And why wouldn't he be confident? The man looked so good that he looked like he's radiating good light among the demonic cretins in the audience, Shane included. His platinum blonde hair looked so pristine that it looked like a saint's halo. And his cheekbones looked like sharp cliffs overlooking a sparkly sea in the Mediterranean. His body was so well-proportioned as well that he looked like an anime character brought to life.

The next thing Shane knew, he was raising his hand and asking this guy to be his sponsor. He didn't know how it happened—everything seemed hazy—but it didn't matter because Gary smiled at him with bright teeth that seemed to vanquish Shane's evil beings within him.

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The first day was awkward. Shane found himself in this guy's car, and they were driving around town with no destination in particular, just them feeling each other out.