That moment where your attention span has gotten so short that you're considering to off yourself lol. It's always been at the back of my head but it never really came to me until recently when I was so bored doing online work that I was like "if I wanted to, I could off myself right now." And honestly it's so true like if I found out I had a deadly disease I'd be fine with it because it's something interesting. The only thing that doesn't make me bored off my mind is probably anime. Now I can't even watch it because my mum is making me do so much online work that I'm dead ass so close to just ending it. Like right now I just stormed off out of frustration because my grade in science dropped to an F. I might have to repeat my grade and if I do there's like a 100% chance I'm leaving this world. My mum is gonna put me in therapy but that's just gonna make things worse. Why pay someone to make me happy? I can't even cry anymore because I've suppressed everything inside for so long that if I let one tear slip I'll start screaming. It kinda hurts to have no one to talk too, since my friends don't care and I would never tell a stranger my personal issues, y'know? Consider this a suicide note if I ever man up and stop being such a pussy and go though with it. Actually no lol, I don't want my family seeing this. Maybe one day I'll fix myself I dunno. I don't wanna self harm because that's useless to me so I just doodle on my body. Im seriously so fucking bored please just take my soul already.
RatNix
