The Pain of a Middle Child

VI

It was excruciating hard to keep up with my schedule. With my eight classes(Math, Science, History, Essey-writing, Art, Rhythmic gymnastics, English and Korean), my days were always busy. Even though I longed to quit some of them, my parents had never let me and threatened to stop paying for my Art classes.

I didn't have a choice but to accept it.

I had moved my History and Korean classes to leave Saturday free, but to accomplish that, I had to finish all of my homework beforehand.

Thank god for the Free Learning Year thing, else I'd be dead from exhaustion.  I thought while I proofread my essey for Essey-writing class. It was a little bit awkward in the middle part, but it was enough to get a decent grade from my teacher.

"Now, what's next.." I murmured to myself as I reached across my desk for my list of homeworks that was due within the week. "Yeah, I'd better get started on Science and English--oh no, I completely forgot about History!" I ran out of my room to the living room, where the family laptop was.

Hurridly turning it on, I read my English book while waiting for it to load.

When the big green serch bar popped onto the screen, I typed in "Uses of stoneware" and resumed reading my book.

It didn't take long to find what I was looking for, and I copied the list and made my own on the sheet of paper my History teacher gave me.

Now, back to that English book report.

I finished the book I was reading in an hour and started writing the title at the top of the paper.

The dull thumps of my sister's feet against the stairs inturrupted me. I looked out my door and stared as she went into her room and closed the door.

I felt a sudden rage rise inside of me. She  was out having fun with her friends while I  was doing my homework!

This wasn't fair.

Of course, fairness didn't mean the everyone got the same thing. It meant that everyone got what they needed.

But I deffinatly didn't need all these classes. She  needed them.

I happened to know that her grades had faltered in the last month.

While mine continued to stay at the top. I added inside my head. I bit my lips and clenched my hands into fists so contain my growing anger.

Don't lose it, not here, not now, not ever. Just keep going and show them that you're better than Elle. I bit down harder on my trembling lips as a tear rolled down my cheek.

It was so hard to keep it in. After three and a half years of containing my sadness, anger, and pain, this was the first time I felt like I would burst.

I didn't try to stop my tears. I let them fall silently down my face as I closed my door and hugged my pillow tightly.

__________

I must've fallen asleep, because when I opened my eyes, my room was dark. I groggily headed to my bathroom and looked at myself.

My too big nose, my mismatched eyes, and all the zits on my face was what got my attention.

I gave a big sigh and looked away from the mirror, away from my flaws, and away from my embarrassing features.

__________

"I'm going to the movies on Saturday," I said while stuffing a spoonful of rice into my mouth with some tofu and soy sauce.

"What about your classes?" mom immediatly asked.

"Move 'em to Monday and Thursday," I finished my dinner and went to the sink to clean my dirty dishes.

Mom thought for a moment, then nodded slowly. "Fine, call your teacher and tell them you're moving your classes." she went back to eating and talking with dad.

I went up to my room and sat down at my desk. My unfinished book report looking blankly at me. I was tempted to tear it apart for a second, controlled by my piling stress. But I advised myself against it, knowing that my parents would never let me go to the movies if my teacher called and told them I had torn my book report sheet into bits.

I picked up a pencil and started writing.

A knock at my door pulled me out of my thinking.

"Yes?" I answered. The door opened and my brother peeked in.

"Wanna play a board game?" he asked with a toothy smile. I rolled my eyes. He was always bugging me to play board games with him even though he knew that I couldn't. It was his way of getting under my skin.

"No, and for the last time, stop bothering me!" I pushed the door shut with my leg while trying to finish the sentance.

"Mom! Lyla pushed me!" Dan yelled. I gritted me teeth and waited for my mother's 'Lyla, you're a big sister, surely you know that he's weaker than you and need taking care of,' lecture.

"Lyla Johnson! You're a big sister, surely you know that he's weaker than you and need taking care of!" there it was.

"Then tell him to stop bothering me," I said under my breath. I finished my book report. It wasn't good, but it'll have to do.

After that, I did my Science homework, which was memorizing how the human body worked. It was long, boring work, which consisted of saying the same words over and over again for half an hour, then writing what I memorized down on a sheet of paper to see what I had missed.

It took a full hour and a half to memorize them all, and even after that, I frequently tested myself by asking questions inside my head.

When all of my homework was finished, it was 3 AM, and I was about to drop from exhaustion. I changed, packed my bag for Monday, and then slipped into my cozy bed, almost forgetting to let my hair down and take my glasses off