Safe | zarry adoption

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Friday wasn't much better. In all actuality, it was much, much worse. My eyes were irritated from crying so much the previous night and my chest was overwhelmingly heavy with anxiety.

I could barely function, but I knew that I had to go to school. It was either that or stay home with my mother. The latter option was far too dangerous and something I couldn't even bring myself to think about.

Without a winter coat, the trek to school was miserable and cold. I wrapped my arms around myself as I walked, hoping no one I knew would see me. Although the walk wasn't very long, it felt like forever in the freezing temperature. I fucking hate Michigan.

Of course my day wasn't going to get better. In geometry, my first period class, we had a test I completely forgot about. Looking at the sheet in front of me, I understood nothing to the point that I couldn't even start doing the work to solve the problems. I turned in the test last, almost every answer left blank.

I made it through my double period of English okay, but I felt the need to cry throughout the whole class. I couldn't focus on anything and I retained nothing of what the teacher had said.

Then it was time for history. Mr. Styles greeted me as usual in front of his classroom, and I ducked my head to avoid eye contact as I walked in. I took a seat at my desk and immediately hid my head down on my arms, not caring what anyone else thought at this point.

I was almost positive I was going to start crying at any point, but I knew I couldn't miss Mr. Styles' class after what happened yesterday. Everyone was too goddamn loud and I focused on taking deep breaths to calm myself.

I can't fucking do this.

"Hey, Kasey, are you okay?" I lifted up my head to see Mr. Styles crouched by my desk. His voice was gentle and quiet and it took everything in me to not break down right there.

I nodded, not being able to say anything.

"Are you sure?" This was basically the exact same conversation we had yesterday. I nodded again.

I was certain I did not look okay — my eyes were red and puffy, my hands were shaking, and I couldn't say anything. Which is probably why, instead of listening to me and leaving, Mr. Styles sighed. "I don't really think you are," he said.

My chest panged. It had been so long since someone had cared about me. All my life, it seemed, I had been waiting for someone to notice that I wasn't okay. Tears started to well up in my eyes and I quickly wiped them away. Don't make a fool out of yourself.

Mr. Styles' eyes softened even more, if that was possible. "Why don't you take a breather in the hallway. I'll take care of the class and meet you out there in a little bit. Does that sound okay?"

I shook my head. I didn't want to walk out in front of the class and make a bigger fool out of myself.

"I think you should. C'mon." He stood up and I hesitantly followed him. Most of the class was still rowdy and didn't pay much attention to me, which I was beyond thankful for. "I'll be out in a little bit. Get some water, take some deep breaths," he said as he opened the door.

The hallway was thankfully empty. I took a seat against the wall and let out a shaky breath. My chest was unbearably tight with anxiety and my tears finally escaped. I buried my head in my knees and tried to get my mind off of everything, but it was impossible. My mind was racing at a million miles a second and nothing could calm it.

It must have been a few minutes I was sitting out there, because the classroom door opened and I jumped, not expecting it.

"Are you feeling any better?" Mr. Styles crouched down in front of me. I desperately wiped my face, but I knew it wouldn't make a difference. He smiled softly, but not in a rude way. "I guess not. Why don't we take a walk?" I assumed I didn't have much of a choice, so I stood up and followed him down the hallway. We walked through the building until we reached the teacher's lounge. "There shouldn't be anyone in here, so let's have a chat." He pushed open the door and motioned to the couch, where I sat down. "I'm going to make a quick call so I can get another teacher to watch over my class, then I'll sit down with you."