Out of Reach

Chapter 1

"Mars, can you hand me the folder? Yan lang na nasa table." I told Caddie, my best friend.

Nandito kami ngayon sa apartment ko. She went here mainly because I was done with my assignment. Makikikopya. Paano eh ang tamad tamad.

She took up architecture, while I took business. We attend the same class, though. Common professor.

"Sure, babe. Here." Nang maiabot ay nagsulat muli.

I scanned the pages and eventually realized that I was spacing out again. Kailan nga ulit ako nagsimulang maging ganito?

Oh right.

Since my parents' death.

Tinignan ko muna siya saglit bago nagbasa ulit ng handout.

I was a happy person back then. But everything changed when that day came. Totoo nga yung sinasabi nila na mag-iiba talaga yung mundo mo once na may mawalang tao sa buhay mo. Mom and dad has always been my safe haven. Lucky me, huh. I lost both.

And I still haven't recovered yet.

Hindi natatapos ang araw ko na kahit isang beses ay hindi ako natutulala.

"Uy pahingi ng chocolate cake ha!" Drifting away from my reality, narinig ko na lang ang ingay sa may kitchen island when she got herself a fork and a small plate with a slice of cake in it. Kaunti lang kasi bigay lang naman ng neighbor room ko.

We just met outside our doors. Papasok ako, paalis naman siya.

Wala pa daw siyang friend sa building namin. Sakto pang nagkasabay kami. And she badly wants to have a neighbor friend para man lang may nakakausap siya paminsan minsan other than her 4-year old child.

Later that day, she was already outside my door, handing me a tupperware. Cake na lang daw ang natira sa birthday ng anak niya kasi pinabaunan niya pa ang mga kaibigan niyang dumalo.

I felt happy with that small gesture. She was warm though, warm like my mom.

Kaya noong nakapagpasalamat ako ay pumasok na agad ako sa loob at doon na unti-unting bumuhos ang mga luha sa mata ko.

I just left the food inside my ref, and curled myself inside my bedroom.

I missed Mom.

Having a small circle of friends, I realized I wasn't really a social butterfly. I had lots when I was a kid. They liked me. Only that they started to drift away when they met other friends in high school.

I understand. We all have to lose some to give way to those people who have to come into our life.

Caddie liked me when we first met. We don't have the same personality but we clicked anyway. Sabi niya ayaw niya daw makipagkaibigan sa ibang babae kasi masyadong maarte. All they talk about is boys.

Unlike any other girl-hater, she wasn't fond of boys also. Ayaw niya na sa babae, ayaw niya din makipagkaibigan sa lalake. Kaya ganoon na lang ang gulat ko nang tumabi siya sakin. Aangas angas pa. Permanent seats na iyon kaya buong taon niya akong iniingayan kapag nasa school. I can do nothing about it cause we share the same energy! I also felt special kasi ako yung kinaibigan niya out of all the other girls.

I mean, what are the odds, right? She stayed with me throughout. Having everything to nothing is not a joke. She was with me all along and I just appreciate how she brought color into my life once again.

Alam kong marami din siyang dinaramdam at pinipili na lang niyang huwag sabihin dahil makakadagdag lang sa problema ko. I don't want that. I also wanted to help. But everytime I ask her, she'll just shrug it off and change the topic so I guess she isn't ready to tell anyone yet. I understand that part, though.