part 18 - she's like a curse

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The week went well for Shawn, he got a lot of studio time with the team, and at the end they had at least one single ready, the track list for the album all but finalised, and the artwork approved. He still had a few kinks to iron out, but he was on a high, musically, professionally and most of all personally. The internet was still going crazy about the photos of he and Camila and they had managed to avoid any interviews. His fans were split between those who had always thought he had a thing for her way back when, those who thought she was just another bit of arm candy, and those who were a bit put out that he might have a serious girlfriend. He was fondly amused by it all, knowing that whatever camp his fans were in, it was all out of love for him and concern for his happiness, even if it got a bit fanatical at times. Friday night couldn't come soon enough. He watched the clock, knowing what time her flight was due in. About an two hours before she was due to land, a text came through and he read it with disappointment.

Mama's sick again, I have to stay longer. (sad face emoji)

     I understand. Is she OK.

I think so. I'll let you know.

     I'm here if you need me.

I know. I miss you.

     Miss you too.

I'll ring tomorrow if I can.

     OK

He lay awake, thinking of her. This thing with her mother seemed to be getting worse. He hoped she had better news tomorrow.

It was early morning when she rang. She hadn't thought of the time difference, and his voice was sleepy when he answered.

"Hi you," she said.

"Hi," he said in a husky voice. "How are you today? How's your Mom?"

She sighed. "I didn't get any sleep."

He seemed to wake up a bit. "That's no good, honey, you need to take care of yourself or you'll be no good to your mother."

He was so sweet, and caring, and kind, and she was such a liar and a bitch and....

She burst into tears.

"Hey, hey!" he said, sounding at a loss. "What's wrong, what's happened?"

"It's just been a long night, I'm sorry." She sniffed, embarrassed at her loss of control.\

"What you need is a big hug," he said. "And I happen to have a few here. Sending one to you now, through cyber-space."

She smiled through her tears. "Thank you, that's exactly what I needed." It would be much better if it was in real life.

They chatted for a while, he kept the conversation light, discussing his music, telling some cute anecdotes, flirting a little. She felt so much better when he said he missed her and hung up. She was pretty sure she knew how he felt about her, because she felt the same way, but the secret was there, so big, between them and until she could tell him the truth, she wouldn't be ready to share her heart.  What if she told him she loved him, and then he decided he didn't want to continue the relationship once he found out?  That would break her, and it would break him, and that was something she really couldn't live with.  He was being so patient and understanding, more than she could ever have imagined. She didn't deserve him.

Her life after the doctor's visit changed forever. She went home in a daze and her mother didn't speak a word. When they got home she told Mila to go rest, and she went to speak to Papa. She heard their raised voices from her side of the house. At dinner that night he couldn't even look at her. She knew he was worried and she didn't know what to say to make him feel better. After he finished eating he looked at her with sad eyes.

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