Only you | Bellarke

my fault

AN: It's like legit 2:00 am in the morning so bear with me here ;) Also, I apologize for anything that isn't canon before this takes place, it's been a while since I've seen season 1 :)

It's my fault. It's all my fault. I should've been there. Maybe I could've done something... Clarke couldn't get the thought out of her head. It was her fault. Wells was dead and it was her fault. When she found out, she sank to her knees in shock until someone pulled her up and pushed her to her tent. 

Turns out it was Octavia. She sat Clarke down on her bed inside Clarke's tent and, noticing her dry eyes told her, "You know, it's ok for you to cry, no one's judging you." Clarke said nothing, just stared at the empty dirt beneath her boots.  She couldn't believe that Wells - her Wells was dead. He was dead. 

Octavia tried to get her talk, to eat, to do anything, really. But Clarke just sat there in a perpetual state of shock, her face vacant and blank.

"Come on, Clarke. You have to eat something. Please, you're going to starve." Octavia pointed out for at least the fourth time that afternoon. "Fine, whatever. Starve. I'll leave the food just in case." She turned to leave but she only got one step away before Clarke reached out and grabbed her wrist. 

Raising one eyebrow at Clarke, Octavia turned back to face her. 

"It's my fault," Clarke muttered. "All my fault."

Octavia sat on the bed next to her and put a hand on her arm, "You need sleep Clarke. Go to bed and I'll talk to you in the morning." Octavia knew Clarke didn't really mean what she said, so she chose to ignore it and walked out of the tent to go find some dinner. 

After Octavia had left her alone, Clarke finally let the first tear fall and once she started crying, it was impossible to stop. She didn't want to be too loud so she got under the warm furs and buried her face in her pillow and sobbed until she didn't have a tear left in her body. Wells didn't deserve to die. Why did it have to be him? 

Finally, she fell asleep, but it was a restless, placeless sleep. She woke up at least four times in the middle of the night, hot wet tears streaming down her face at the memory of Wells.

At last, when morning came, she found herself unable to get out of bed. She didn't want to face the world or any of the people that depended on her. She just wanted to cry and remember all of the good times she had with Wells. She wanted to forget for just a minute that the entirety of the human race (or so she thought) rested on her shoulders. So she did.

Somewhere around lunchtime, everyone noticed Clarke's absence and they figured they had to do something about it. Octavia went by Clarke's tent, tried to get her to eat, only to be met with sobs. Clarke, again, refused to eat, and instead yelled at Octavia to get out of her tent. 

Octavia sent Finn in next, hoping that whatever they had between them was strong enough to dig Clark out of her hole. When Finn walked in, Clarke just rolled over in bed and turned her back to him. 

She yelled at him to get out the same as she had Octavia, not caring whether or not she hurt his feelings. Rejected, he stumbled out of her tent and over to Octavia, who sat talking to Bellamy about something.

"She could care less if I'm even alive right now." Finn said, hurt.

"Oh, buck up Finn. Grow a pair and stop being such a wimp, will ya?" to Octavia it didn't matter much whether or not Finn had his ego in tact.

Jasper, Monty, Harper, and even Murphy tried getting Clarke out of her tent, all to no avail. Clarke was as stubborn as an ox, even more so when she was mourning. Suddenly, Octavia got a wonderful  idea. "Bell, seems like you're the only one who hasn't tried to talk to her." She pointed out, a cheshire grin slowly spreading across her face. Octavia had seen the way he looked at Clarke the first time he saw her — she knew it was only a matter of time before things got hot and heavy between the two.