Exiled

Fight:

Shinji paced the floor of his room, having been locked in by the Head Captain after he tried to take off after Kariuzu. He was angry, scared, desperate, alone, and upset all at once. He wasn't sure how to handle how he felt about it. Did she run off because of what he'd said, or was she taken? Ichigo said she'd gone to the training cave to train, but she hadn't returned. She had been gone for 4 days, and he was beside himself with fear, but Ichigo had given him a terribly angry face. If she did take off, it was obvious it was his fault. Everyone knew how they were reacting to each other. Everyone knew most of their visits with each other involved arguments. They had been arguing constantly. That first night and morning had reminded him of how much he'd missed her. How alive she made him feel in the worst moments, and how he had constantly wished she'd been there with him all those years ago. When he'd fled the Soul Society after being hallowfied by Aizen, he had missed her. He had craved her voice, her touch, her love. Just her simple presence would've eased his suffering so much. 

"Damnit!" He yelled, kicking a chair he had already knocked over and broken. He grumbled and tossed his robe onto the floor. He stood in his pants and sat aggressively on the ground. 

"You seem pretty angry." Her voice seemed to break him out of his head, as it shattered his world. He turned and looked over. She had dirt covering her robe, her hair tossed to the side, as she stood outside his door. 

"Kariuzu? Is it really you?" He whispered, looking at her like she was the sunlight after he'd been starved from it. 

"Of course it is." She responded, "Shunsui mentioned you were looking for me."

"What happened to you?" He asked. 

"Oh, I was kidnapped by Taki, but that's been handled. Taki has been taken in by the captain of squad 2, and the rest of them have decided to stay and live in peace within the Soul Society, so war has been avoided, and we can all go back to our lives." She shrugged, with indifference. 

"You were kidnapped?" He asked, finally standing. He walked over to her and tried to reach out to her, and touched the barrier.

"Yeah, I'm fine. " She shrugged, not coming closer to him. 

"Kariuzu, would you-" She held up her hand and stopped him. 

"I should go, I want to check in with Isshin and Ichigo." She shrugged and turned her back, he made to reach out to her and got stopped by the barrier, and silently cursed himself for not calling out to her. 

---

"Okay okay, Isshin as a kid?" Kariuzu laughed as she sat with her nieces and nephew, and their significant others. "He was stubborn and reckless. He was always picking fights with my subordinates." She laughed along with everyone. It had been 2 weeks since the end of the situation, and she had spoken to Shinji. She had come to the easy realization that until he could learn to accept and love himself, how she loved him, then there wasn't a point. She couldn't keep fighting, arguing with him. She had moved in with Isshin, temporarily, while she got back to the role as the head of the Shiba clan, Kukaku had easily stepped down, wanting to explore other options in her life. After getting access to her money, she had begun the restoration of her new home, near Isshin's. 

"What else?" Yuzu asked with a chuckle. 

"Well, when he was really little, he'd run around the lawn butt naked, because he hated clothes." 

"Come on, Kariuzu. Stop it." Isshin blushed as everyone laughed. The drinks were flowing as she watched, Karin sat cuddle with Toshiro, his arms protectively around her. Yuzu's boyfriend Jinta was laying down with his head in her lap, laughing as she played with his hair. Orihime laughed as she sat on the arm of Ichigo's chair, and she couldn't help but enjoy how lovely they all looked, and how happy they seemed to be. She missed that feeling of happiness. But she enjoyed her peace.

"Alright, no more. I promise Isshin." She smiled gently at her younger brother. Even though he had 100 years on him, he looked older then she did, probably from living in the World of the Living. He'd told her all about it, as well as how raising the kids had been like. She was looking at the sky when her brother grabbed her attention.

"You have a visitor, Kariuzu." He whispered looking behind her, and she glanced, since Shinji and she sighed, standing. 

"I'll be back in a moment." She responded, walking towards him. He looked down as she approached, and she could tell he hadn't been sleeping. 

"Hello, Captain Hirako." She greeted, and he seemed to flinch.

"Please don't be so formal." He whispered, but she ignored him. 

"What can I do for you?" She asked, leading him away from her family. 

"Stop it, please." He begged as she kept walking. 

"What are you talking about?" 

"You with this formal behavior, acting like we don't even know each other." He responded. 

"We don't know each other, not anymore. I realize that now." She replied. 

"You still know me, Kariuzu. You were right. I'm filled with self-loathing, and hatred. I don't know how not to be. I don't remember how to love myself. Not without you." He began. "You showed me love all those years ago, you showed me kindness, and affection and trust. You taught me how to care for me."

"Captain." She responded, not looking at him. 

"I was angry with you after Aizen forced me to undergo hallowfication. Because you had left me all alone, to face it all. Without you in my life, it meant nothing. Even after my hallowfication, after fleeing the Soul Society, after 110 years, I was forced to live without you during the worst time of my life." He continued. "I needed you and you weren't there. I craved you and you weren't there. I loved you and you weren't there and I was angry. I have been angry."

"You should stop." She whispered but still didn't look at him. He grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at him, to see the tears rolling from his eyes, and the suffering dancing on his features. Her eyes softened. 

"I needed you, and you were gone. I thought you had died, and I didn't hold it against your memory back then, but when you showed up here, alive and unharmed, that anger returned. And I tried to push it away, and we spent that time together that night and the following morning, but being with you, reminded me of how much I lost, how much time I lost without you. How much I had needed you back then, after all the battles with Aizen and the Quincys." He cried. "But I had forgotten how alive you made me feel, how loved you made me feel, how safe being around you made me feel. You were everything to me, everything. And suddenly you were here, and you had secrets and I didn't know you anymore.

"And then you were gone again, and I thought you had taken off. I was horrified that I had screwed everything up with you." He pleaded. "I love you, Kariuzu Shiba, and I can't bare the idea of losing more time with you."

"I'm sorry, Captain." She said, looking at him, with tears falling from her eyes as she flash stepped away, vanishing in the night.