i. strings - brightwin

two

win have always thought happiness is momentary. it's a here today and gone tomorrow. that's why he never stays in the same space as what he, for a heartbeat, thinks would make him happy. because nothing stays in that space. he thinks too little of himself to experience such large amount of happiness. 

but as he lay down on his bed, eyes glued on the ceiling as if there were thousands of stars scattered above him, he found himself hoping. hoping to see what's become of his happiness in the shortest span of time like yesterday. he squeezes his eyes shut. hoping, but not expecting. 

the door opened and it wasn't long before win opens his eyes and realized his brother has entered his room. khao was looking down at him with a smile spreading across his face as he gestures for win to go down for breakfast. 

'i'll come down in a minute,' he signed to khao. 

khao holds up an okay sign and leaves win's room. khao has been taking good care of win ever since who knows when. they're step brothers but they're a lot more inseparable than how others could think of. khao never left his side and has become his voice, as well as someone who's willing enough to hear his heart out. their parents are rarely home which sometimes only makes the two of them in the house. but most of the time, win feels like he's on his own. 

win is deaf and mute. he wasn't sure he's accepted everything. perhaps he has, but partially. it wasn't okay like how people usually tell him it will be because despite seeing everything around him, he still wishes to hear what everything that surrounds him beats for. he still wishes to voice out whatever he ought to say by himself. because most of the time, he feels like he's the only one hearing himself. 

after having breakfast and insisting on his brother that he's responsible enough to go to school by himself, he goes off on his way. he walks down the road, towards the bus stop. and as he was waiting, the hope of seeing the boy from yesterday trails behind him. as soon as the bus arrives, he steps in and his eyes navigates through the seats. unexpectedly and at the same time more than he was thankful for, his eyes landed on the person he firstly wants to see since that day on. 

bright was too immersed on what he was listening that he didn't notice the other that was starting to make its way to the back seats. win quietly takes a seat on his usual spot, bringing out his journal and before he can even process whatever he's doing, he has ripped off the edge of the paper and is now scribbling words on it.

he was nervous for some reasons he couldn't sort out himself. he crumples the piece of paper and sighs, leaning his head against the window. no, he thought to himself. not everything that we think happens once can hopefully turn themselves in again. win starts to think too little of himself again. he starts to think that when it comes to himself, the possibility of anything or anyone staying beside him is a whole zero. 

'who would bother?', he questions himself, 'no one would bother wasting their time on me.'

although he tells that to himself over and over again, it pains him. pain is probably the only thing that stayed beside him. within him. 

he was about to shove his journal back inside his bag when he felt a light tap on his shoulder. his gaze falls on the boy who's smile almost reached his ears. the boy waves at him as win's eyes falls on the boys lips. he said hi. 

win smiles back, a small yet genuine smile. bright's eyes diverted on win's hands. he was still holding the crumpled piece of paper. bright looks back at him questioningly and for a second, win was hesitating on what he's going to do. but he ends up slowly lifting his hand up, handing the crumpled  paper to bright. 

bright's eyes lit up and he opens it. 

'hi, it's me again.' 

bright grins and turns away from win. win's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as bright shuffles on where he's seating. his face brightens as he finds a pen and rips off a page from his own notebook. he scribbles something down and hands it to win with a wide smile on his face. 

'hi, win. sure enough i haven't told you my name yet, yeah? i'm bright :)'

bright. win never thought beautiful would be such an understatement that could encompass such person as the one that's sitting beside him. 

win stops himself from smiling. he nods at bright and before he can even write back to him, bright has held his hand up and again, win looks at him with a confused expression written across his face. his eyes were redirected to what bright was holding. he started taking his guitar out of its case and places it on top of his lap. he stops in a brief moment and looks back at win, gently grabbing his hand and placing it on top of the guitar's body. 

win isn't certain of what bright's trying to let him do, but he presses his palm down anyway. 

bright starts strumming and win gradually feels the vibration of the sound. there weren't as much people inside the bus. there were about six, including them. win realized they've gotten the attention of some and looked down, but he couldn't resist to smile. 

doubt starts to scuttle within him. but right now, he can almost say that as much as he wants to let go of every reason that's been drowning him in pain, there's one that he wants to grasp. to hold on. he wasn't sure of the possibility, but right now, he feels the vibration of happiness settle inside him, fighting of the doubt. 

his smile widens as he looks up at bright, who was nodding his head along, probably mouthing the lyrics to the song he was playing.